Is there such a thing as love?
by SquallsCorner
Summary: Zexion is abused and bullied! and Demyx, the most popular kid in school, has taken an interest in him! How will Zexion take this love he has been deprived of for so long? Please read nad Review! contains swear words and yaoi/Zemyx
1. Chapter 1

**Hey! So Guess what? I don't own Kingdom Hearts or any of these characters! Go figure. Now, why don't I start this story!**

"You fucking emo! Why don't you just die already," A tall boy with black dreadlocks, named Xaldin, yelled at me as I sat in my desk trying to ignore him. Why can't he just leave me alone? I have never done anything to them and I had never planned on doing so. I wish with all my heart that I could just disappear from this world. I know for a fact no one would miss me and I wouldn't miss them. There was no love in this world for me.

I had thought I was loved one time but he couldn't wait for me and can I really blame him? I should have known that love was for suckers but I hoped for more. Long story short he ran off with a girl before I was for sure I wanted to go into a relationship. It hurt even more for me because he denied that he had ever liked me and proved it by avoiding me in the hallways. I doubt I could be loved and would be loved back. I would kill myself but I am to weak so instead I cut.

"Hey homo, I'm talking to you," Xaldin yelled angrily into my ear. I simply close my book and say, "Yes?"

Now that I look around I see that he is with is little gang. Which consists off Xaldin, Larxene, Saix, and Vexen. They all hate me and I never understood why. Is it because I'm worthless? Yes, that must be it. I shouldn't be alive nor do I want to be alive. No one will ever love me no matter what and I don't deserve their love.

"I have a question for you," The blonde who's hair makes me think of bugs, named Larxene, yelled at me. "Yes," I said not making eye contact with any of them. "Why are you still alive? Everyone wants you dead," She yelled the truth in my face. I could never find an answer for that question so all I could do was look down at my hands. The blue hair teen with a 'X' on his face shoved a knife in my face and said, not in a yelling voice though, "Here is a knife. You can go cut yourself and maybe if we are lucky you will kill yourself too." His words always hurt the most because he chose them carefully.

The teacher finally came in before anyone else could say something but I can hear them whispering in the back of the classroom about how I should die. If I did do you think they would feel bad? I doubt it, after all it is what they wanted.

The rest of the day went about the same. I got reminded I should be dead, I got punched a few times for being gay, and everyone kept talking bad about me. I will slowly walk home, today. Hopefully my dad won't be home when I get there. He always comes home drunk and ready to punish me for ruining his life, while my mother just sits there and watches. I don't think she has ever tried to stop him once and I fact I thought I saw her laughing one time. If they didn't want me so bad why didn't they kill me already? They would have been doing everybody a big favor.

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I finally get home and no one is there. Maybe today won't be so bad. I go into my room and lift up my mattress and pull out a knife. It is not like my parents care that I cut myself, it is just if my dad saw it he would use it against me. I try not to make it to obvious I cut myself, not that I have to worry about anyone caring. I slowly sink the knife into my thigh. The blood doesn't automatically start coming it takes a second and if it doesn't bleed you can tell your knife is cheap or dull. I love this pain, it is like magic. It helps me not think which makes me happy. I found it is for the best if I don't think for if I do I only think bad thoughts.

_**-SLAM!-**_

Father is home and he is drunk. I quickly put my knife in its original resting place and get ready for what is about to come. "Boy, get down here," His words are slurred and he is angry. I better not make him more mad. I run down stairs, afraid of what is about to come. "Yes, father," I ask trying to sound like I have respect the man.

"I hope you realize how worthless of a human being you are," He is more drunk than usual. Maybe if I am lucky he will fall asleep early and I can sneak out my house. I hear my mother come in the room and sit on the couch waiting for the game to begin. "You ruined m-my life and should be dead," He looked tired. "I am sorry, father," I said with fear in my voice. "Why couldn't you be like your brother! Now that was a real man," My brother moved out a few years after I was born. He became a success and didn't want to have anything to do with us. My father started to resent me more and more and then starting to blame me for him leaving. I don't know how it was my fault but I must have disgusted him so he left. "I'm sorry."

My father lift his hand and slapped me. This was only the beginning of what he does and if you don't think a slap hurts you have never been slapped by my father. "I don't need your pathetic apologizes! What I do need is another drink! Woman," he looked over to my mother, "Go make me another drink." She stood up angry that she is going to miss me getting hit for even a second. While I watched he leave my father punched me in the stomach. I feel to the floor holding my side and he began to kick me. "Move you fucking hands and stop complaining! I am giving you what you deserve," He hissed. I did what I was told and moved my hands. He began kicking me and I am sure of some of my ribs are bruised. My mother comes back with a drink in her hands and hands it to my father. He drinks it and then throws the cup at my back. It shatters into little pieces and they all go flying across the floor but lucky for me my father is leaving and my mother follows after him throwing me a look of disgust. I weakly get up and grab the broom and clean up the mess.

I go up to my room and examine my back to see how bad it is. There are random marks on my back from the cup and my ribs are bruised badly. I will just have to suck it up and wait for the scars to go away.

I look at the clock, it's only 7:23 P.M., that is not to late. I am sure I can sneak out and go to the book store.

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It is raining and my jacket is soaked but that is fine. I made it to the book store and that is all that matters. I love the smell of coffee that drifts in the air, the music that play softly in the background, and all the books here. Books and cutting are my only escape from this life. Anything is possible in books and there are usually happy endings not like in life. I can sit here all day and be perfectly happy and every so often, when I can, I buy a book. Nobody ever notices me come in and that is the way I like it. I walk to the very back of the book store, pick a book, and sit down. Today a picked one of my favorites, _Alice in Wonderland. _I know that sounds kind of girly but trust me it is always a good read.

I sit here for a few hours reading then I look up to see what time it was. When I do I see this one boy with a mullet comes close to where I am. He looks like he has never seen a book in his life before. Oh well, it isn't my problem. I go back to my book for a few minutes and he disappears from my view.

"Achoo!" Ugh, I hate when I sneeze, I don't like drawing attention to myself. "Bless you," a gentle voice said. I jumped from the unexpected visitor's voice. How could someone sound so caring when just saying 'bless you'?

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," there goes that voice of theirs again. Wait, did someone just apologize to me? Nobody ever apologizes to me! I turn around to see who was talking to me with such kindness in their voice. It was that boy from earlier. "Don't be sorry and thanks," I said afraid he was going to hate me after he saw who I was.

"Thanks? For what," he questioned.

"For saying bless you," I said a bit confused at how he has forgotten already.

"Oh," he laughed, "Your welcome.. Hey you look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?"

I can't believe I didn't recognize him before! He is Demyx! He is a popular kid in school. "Um... Yeah, you do actually." I said trying not to seem shocked that Demyx was talking to me!

"Oh... I am sorry I don't remember your name," Demyx said in a way that made me actually think that someone felt bad for forgetting about me.

"M-my name?" He actually wanted to know my name?

"Yeah, you do have one don't you."

"My name is-"

"What the hell do you think you doing!" My mother yelled. What was she doing here?

"M-Mother?" I said, scared out of my mind.

"You worthless idiot!," she slapped me in front of Demyx. My mother was never the type to hit, she let my father do that for her.

"What did I do wrong," I questioned, hoping Demyx would leave but he didn't, he just stood there and watched.

"Did your father teach you nothing! You ruined our life's!"

"I'm sorry."

She punches me in the ribs just as hard as father did. "You fucking lier!" Sorry was never good enough for them, I always had to be hit to know what it was to be truly sorry.

"I'm sorry, mother. Please stop hitting me."

"You better be ready when you come home because I am not going to be as gentle as your father is." After a kick in the stomach she left me on the floor of my favorite place in the whole world, with the most popular guy in school. That is just fucking great! Oh well there is nothing I can do about it now.

I slowly lift myself up of the floor and make sure the book is okay. I probably should be more worried about myself but I can't help but feel like the book is more important. Its fine for the most part, one of its pages got bent but that can be fixed.

I stand up straight but fall back to the floor and mumble to myself, "You pathetic bitch, you can't even stand up by yourself. Maybe you should just die you would do the world a favor"

"Don't say that," Demyx said. I honestly thought he left after my mother was done.

"What are you still doing here," I said more as a hint for him to get lost.

"Are you okay?" Why does he care so much? When did somebody care about me?

"Y-yeah, I am fine," I lied but it was mostly meant for myself than to him.

"Do you want some help getting up?" Since when does anybody care if I need help? This is all so strange.

"No, really I am fine, Demyx"

"Who do you know my name?" For some reason that hurt more than it should.

"I go to school with you."

"Oh... I am not trying to be rude or anything but are you new here?"

"I have lived here all my life."

"I'm sorry, man. I didn't know." There he goes apologizing again.

"I didn't expect you to," I successfully stand up as I say this.

"What is your name, anyway?"

"It is Zexion."

"Well, Zexion, do you want to stay at my house? Your mom didn't look to happy at you."

"I can't I have to go home."

"I wouldn't if I were you," Demyx said sounding concerned.

"I have to."

"No you don't."

"Yes, I really do. I have to clean the house."

"Why would you go back there? Your mom seemed mean and she made your dad seem abusive." Why couldn't he just let me be.

"Yeah, well, it happens."

"I am not letting you go home."

"I have to go home," I fought with him.

"Why," Demyx questioned.

"I have to go get punished for being born and ruining every ones life's," I said before I realized I was saying it.

"W-what?" Great I freaked him out. I am really going to hate school tomorrow.

"Nothing... I have to go now," I said and started to walk away when he grabbed my hand and pulled me back to him.

"You are not going back there."

"I don't have a choice and you just met me."

"You have a choice now! And so what if we just met that doesn't matter. I want to help you."

"I don't need your pity."

"Why won't you let me help you?"

"I don't need help! Now I have to get going," I tugged my hand away and left before he could do anything.

I got home and opened the door seeing my mother was waiting for me. This isn't going to end well.

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Compared to my mother, my father was a saint. I am in the shower and blood is dripping from my arms, legs, and back. One of the worst places to get hurt is your back because if your like me and have to take care of it yourself it isn't easy. I just can't wait for this day to end. My mother told me to stay home from school tomorrow so the cuts close a little and it won't look as bad when I go to school. As much as I hate going to school I would rather go there than stay here.

I almost wish I went with Demyx but I know better. I know it would end up terribly and he would just end up ruining my life at school not that it was that great to begin with...

I step out the shower and I feel the pain almost automatically. Damn, my mother can make people suffer. I get dressed trying not to look into the mirror. I don't want to see who ugly I really am. I go into my room and slip into bed and drift slowly into sleep.

**I hope this was good! I tried hard on it but I think I was being kind of repetitive. Anyway! Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

** Hey everyone! Thank you so much for the reviews they made me really happy and made me want to make another chapter right away! See people who leave review inspire me. -claps-**

**Okay so, I still don't own **_**Kingdom Hearts**_** no matter how bad I wish for... Anyway! **_**LET US GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!**_

My mother got a new job so I stayed home alone, not like that was a big deal or anything. It is just like being home with someone else in the house... Or maybe that's just for me.. Anyway, staying home is not all that bad when my parents are gone. In fact I enjoy being by myself, it leaves me alone with my thoughts. Which is always a good thing because I can reflect on how maybe I could do something that doesn't ruin peoples life. I always come to the same answer: Suicide. I am sure it wouldn't be all that bad. Just a little pain then you can rest in the ground for the rest of time.

_**-SLAM!-**_

My father is early and surprise he isn't drunk but he is coming toward my room door. I guess he doesn't have to be drunk to give me, my well deserved, punishment. I hide any object that could hurt me more than his fist can and he comes in.

"Hello, father," I say, trying to stay calm.

"I have been to easy on you, you little prick," His words are like venom, and it is especially deadly today since he isn't drunk. I stay silent because I don't want to set him off and make my punishment worse.

Like lighting he is by my bed and is tying my arms and legs. What was he planning to do to me? Why am I even asking myself that, it is obvious he wants to rape me and there is nothing I can do about it but take it.

He takes his clothes off never taking his eyes away from me once and then he took off his own. I can't help but ask him, "What did I do to deserve this?"

He laughs and simply says, "You were born."

Is it really that simple? My birth caused for people to hate me and never want to be near me? It makes so much sense and it is very clear to me now that life is just a sick joke played by god to see if anyone cracked under the pressure. Well that's fine, I have never been that close to the big man upstairs anyway.

My father was getting himself ready when his phone rang. I guess for once I was going to get lucky. Thank you, who ever is watching out for me! He closed his phone and looked at me like he wanted to just ignore the call and go back to what he was doing. He just shrugged and dipped his fingers in lube to get me ready when he cell phone rang again and he got up looking madder than ever.

"I got to go. I will let you go but I swear to god if you tell anyone I will fuck you up."

I simply nodded as he untied me and he left. That was to close for comfort. I reach under the bed and grab my knife. Today I am not going to be so gentle to myself. I sink the piece of metal into my arm not watching where I was going. I wanted this, I deserved this. I loved it, I hated it. I wanted to dream, I want to die. I wanted to be loved but I knew I couldn't be. Even if I could be loved I know that no one would even try to get to know me and if they tried to know me they would hate me anyways. I am unlovable.

I looked down at my arm to see I did so much damage, more than I ever wanted or meant to. I reach into my nightstand and pull out a bandage and wrap my arm up. Good thing I always keep some extra bandages near by. I look over at the clock. It is 7:38 PM. I wonder where my mother is and where my father went. The best thing about this is no one is here to give me my punishment.

I guess I will go to the bookstore. I change into a plain black t-shirt, a pair of black jeans, and put on a jacket.

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I enter the bookstore but I can't help but feel uneasy that my mother will show up. I walk to the back off the bookstore watching out for my mother. I grab _Alice and Wonderland _to continue from yesterday when I see, none other then, Demyx sitting in my section of the bookstore! Why am I freaking out? He isn't going to try to talk to a loser like me. It took me twenty minutes to walk here, I am not about to walk back to my house without reading a book.

I calmly walk over there and sit down with my book and begin to read.

_ Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister had been reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, "and whats the use," Thought Alice, "of a book without pictures or conversations?"_

"Z-Zexion," Demyx said, but I assumed I had just imagined it so I went back to my book.

_So she was considering in her own mind (as well she could, for the hot day made her feel very tired and stupid), whether the pleasure of making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble and getting up and picking the daises, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her._

"Where were you today," Demyx asked, and this time I was certain he did. I knew I had to lie to get him to leave me alone.

"I was at home," I said. That wasn't a lie but I am sure it would lead to more questions.

"Why," Demyx asked.

I set the book on the table in front of me and looked at him. "Because I slept in and I didn't see the point of going to school if I was late anyway."

"Oh... I missed you" Demyx said.

"Your so full of shit."

"Am not!"

"Yes you are."

"How?"

"You just said you missed me."

"So? I did," Demyx said.

"You didn't know who I was until yesterday and even then we hardly had a conversation."

"Oh..."

"Yeah," I say, hoping he forgot that I wasn't at school.

"Did you mom hurt you?"

"..."

"I want you to come stay with me. I am sure my parents won't care if you do."

"... Demyx..."

"Yes?"

"I am not staying with you and I don't want you to ever talk to me again," In all honesty I felt bad for saying this to him but I didn't want him in my business or getting near my parents.

"W-What?" Great I hurt his feelings.

"I don't want you to talk to me."

"W-Why?"

"Because...," Damn I should have thought this through.

"... That is all...?"

"Just... Stay away from me."

"... No..."

"What?"

"You heard me, no."

"Yes, you will."

"No, I won't."

"Why?"

"You obviously need my help, Zexion. Why won't you let me help you? I am offering it to you, just take it."

"No, Demyx. I don't need help, I am fine."

"Yes, you do! I am not an idiot I know your parents are abusive."

"Sh-Shut up. You don't know what are you are talking about!"

"Zexion, let me help you out of this before you die."

"Nothing is going to kill me but me. My parents aren't abusive and I don't want or need you fucking help. Can't you take a hint? I don't like you!"

"I don't care if you don't like me I will still help you. It is obvious that you are lying."

"Shut up! Why can't you just ignore me? It isn't that hard!"

"Zexion," Demyx wrapped his arms around me.

"W-What are you doing!" What a stupid question he is hugging me but why?

"I will not let you go back there."

I try to pull away from him but he won't let me. "Demyx, let me go. Thank you for the offer but I am going to go back and there is nothing you can do about it."

"At least stay at my house tonight."

"I can't I have to clean the house," I lied. My phone starts ringing:

___Depression, my new obsession... home sweet home  
Self-mutilation is like a sick art show  
Slit your throat & zip you up _

I answer my phone and it is father, "Hello?"

"Come home _now _so we can continue where we left off."

I start shaking from the sound of his voice and Demyx looks down at me.

"I will be right home," I manage to say before he hangs up. What is going to happen to me? Will he kill me when he is done? I am not afraid of death, I am afraid of my father. I almost want to go with Demyx but I know that it is only going to make things worse. I look up at him and say, "I got to go."

Demyx seems angry now, "Your going home!"

"I have to," I say while managing to get out of his arms.

"You have an option! You don't have to now! Come home with me!"

"No, I want to go home."

"Why? To go home and get beaten until you die? Zexion, I don't want you to die!"

I slap him across the face and I don't even know why but I make a run for it. I need to get away from Demyx. He is filling my head with lies. There is no way out of this life and he hardly knows me, to be saying he doesn't want me to die, and if he did he would and it is obvious he would want me to die.

I am half way home when I see a car speeding up behind me, as if to catch up with me. I keep running trying to ignore the fact that it was coming right at me, I can't take a long time to come home or it will just be worse for me. The car drove in front of me and stopped so abruptly I hit it before I could stop myself. I feel to the ground and out comes Demyx. Why can't he take the hint? Ow, my head. I try to sit up but end up laying back down.

"I am so sorry Zexion," Demyx said, sounding like he was panicking.

I closed my eyes hoping this was a dream and said, "I need to go home."

"What! Is that all you care about! Going home!"

"Demyx, I have to."

"THAT IS IT," Demyx yelled and picked me up and put me in his car and got hiself in before I knew what happened and locked the door.

"What the fuck," I yelled and tried to open the door, "Why won't this door open!" I don't care if he was driving I was going to get home one way or another.

"I put the child-lock on it and you are not going home."

I sat back and stayed quite. I am so pissed right now! You can't just meet a person say a few nice things and expect them to automatically listen to you. It doesn't work like that! I know Demyx is use to people listening to him, just because he is popular, but if he thinks I am going to do that he better think again.

We rode in silence for a few minutes and I started to get hot. Without thinking I take jacket off and Demyx looks over at me. I wonder what he is looking at anyway? I look down and see my bloody bandages and immediately regret taking my jacket off but it is to late now. I hope he doesn't start up a conversation about this. He is still staring and it is making me uncomfortable. "Shouldn't you be watching the road," I say.

He looks like he was snapped out of a trance and goes back to look at the road. We drive in silence for a while and I start to wonder where we are going. Does Demyx get kids like me and drops them off somewhere to die? I would rather die by my fathers hands then a strangers. Well now that I think about it maybe a stranger would be more merciful than my father...

After about two more minutes of driving we pull into a drive way that leads to a big house with fancy cars. It makes my small, old house look like nothing but storage shed. Demyx hops out the car and comes over to my side and opens the door. "This is my house. You are going to stay here from now on," Demyx says as he takes my hand and pull me up to the door.

"D-Demyx, what about your parent's," I asked. Surely, Demyx parents don't let him get away with just bringing people home with him.

"They won't care, I do stuff like this all the time," He said, absent mindlessly, "Oh just stay out of my brother and sister's way."

"You have siblings," I ask in disbelief. I don't think in all my time living here I have heard that Demyx had siblings.

"Yeah but they are nothing like me," Demyx said, as he successfully got the door open.

His house is amazing! It is the kind of house you feel like you could break anything at any second. There were flowers on these table and a welcome mat. The house was spotless and the T.V. was huge! Shoes by the door and no clothes in the laundry hamper waiting to be done! Papers in a specific spot and not on random tables. They only need one first aid kit! We had several at my house! This is such a fancy house! I need to get out of it!

I followed Demyx around where ever he goes. He lead me to his room that was nothing like the rest of the house. It had ocean blue walls, a sitar in the corner, and he had a water bed! Posters were everywhere! His bedroom was messy and it didn't look like he need to hide anything.

Suddenly I heard familiar laughter coming from the hallway. I stop looking and look at the door. Where have I heard that laughter before? Then it hits me that laughter from Larxene and Vexen and they just walked into Demyx room. Demyx left the room to go take a shower.

Larxene looked at me and then and Vexen then said, "What the hell do you think your doing here?"

"Demyx made me come," I say trying to stay brave.

"Is that so," Vexen questioned. Great I get to live with some of the people that make my life a living hell. It will be just like at my house...

** Alright I was not sure where to end that but this seemed like an alright place to. So... PLEASE REVIEW! It makes me write faster knowing some one actually likes my story. Also, thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

** Hello again! I love the reviews you left me! It made me want to write more! I don't know if this one will be as good because I don't have a plan for this chapter. Anyway! I do NOT own **_**Kingdom Hearts**_**! Now with that stuff out of the way! **_**LET US DO THIS THING!**_

Larxene sat on one side of me and Vexen sat on the other. I was starting to wish more than ever I was at my house. Getting raped wouldn't be that bad would it? Who am I kidding I knew it would be horrible but this would be horrible too. Why must everything in my life suck? I always ask myself that question and now I know it is because I was born. I never deserved the happiness I felt earlier in my life before my brother left. I can't even remember when the last time I was happy was; let alone what it felt like.

"So I am guessing you another one of those _losers_ that Demyx picks up," Larxene said with a smirk. God I hate her so much but she was right, I am a loser. "He made me come," I said in my defense.

"I am sure that is what happened. What was wrong with you? Being a homo make you sad," Larxene said, with a hint of bitchiness in her voice. I hate my life, I should just end it.

"You know, Larxene, I bet if you weren't such a bitch some guys would actually like you," I said out of nowhere. That was so unlike me but I liked getting back at her. I could see from the corner of my eye Vexen was trying to stop himself from laughing. Laxene is pissed and if I know her she will make me pay for that comment. She raised her hand and slapped me. Compared to my parents that slap was like a mosquito bite.

Vexen must have saw that her slap didn't really bother me because he said, "Larxene, You obviously need to practice your hitting."

She glared and Vexen and said, "Well we will have to fix that won't we."

"You can get all the practice you need with Zexion here," Vexen said, with a smirk. She laughed at the thought, looks like nothing will really change. Larxene grabbed one Demyx thick music books and hit me repeatedly with it. I am sure to have bruises from this. Vexen started to join in but instead of a book he used walking stick that Demyx had in his room. I thought this beating would never stop when a boy with rose wood hair pulled them by the hair and said in an abnormally calm voice, "You better leave him alone or I will kill both of you and show no remorse."

They left the room obviously having a great disliking for this man. He looked over at me as I was sitting up and trying pretend that never happened. "Hello, I am Marluxia," The rose-wood haired man said.

"Hello, I am Zexion. Thanks for helping me," I said. I am very grateful for his help, who knows how long it would have taken for Demyx to come and try to help me.

"Your welcome... So did Demyx take you in," He asked, knowing the answer.

"Yeah, well more like forced me into a car and made me come into his house," I say nonchalantly.

Marluxia smiled slightly as he said, "Yeah that sounds like him. He took me in too."

Demyx took this guy in? He looked perfectly fine! What could have possibly been wrong with him? Wait! What is wrong with me? Why would Demyx think there was something wrong with me? Sure my parents hit me but it was only to discipline me that I deserved for being alive. I could face the fact no one could love me. There is nothing wrong with me.

"You look perfectly fine," I say not trying to sound rude.

"I am now, obviously, but I use to have problems... My parents abused me and told me I was worthless when I was a child. I ran away hoping to find something better. I had to live on the street and I wasn't old enough to get a job so work was out not an option. I lived off whatever I was lucky enough to find. It wasn't the best life but I didn't want to go to a foster family because I knew I was just a substitute for something they wanted. Which was no better than being worthless...I wanted to die more than anything in the world but not anymore. Thanks to Demyx I am fine but he doesn't want me to leave and I won't until high school is over," Marluxia seemed so far off as he was telling me this.

"So Demyx does this all the time," I asked.

"Yeah, do you want to meet the other people he has taken in," Marluxia said. There are more people here? I guess I will have to meet them sooner or later. I nodded and Marluxia lead the way to another part of the house where there were other people that looked perfectly fine.

There was a red-head with spiky hair in the corner that was holding a blond with hair that flipped up. There was also a girl with black hair playing a game of cards with a blond, short haired man and a man with a pony-tail. Why were they here? Why was I here? I don't want to be here, I could have stayed with my parents. I feel like some sort of freak-show. My cell phone starts ringing again and I pick it up automatically. "Hello," I say. It is my father again.

"Where the hell are you, you fucking ass," He was drunk now and he wanted someone to take his anger out on. Without me there he has no one to punish. I know my mother wouldn't take it. In fact it would be the other way around.

"I'm sorry I am late I just got held up," I say, trying not to imagine the punishment I will get.

"You better come home right now or I will make you really wish you were dead," his words are slurred. Oh great everyone is looking at me.

"I can't I don't know where I am." Maybe I could get a ride. I know it isn't the smartest idea to go home but I would rather be there than here. I don't like feeling so helpless. I can take care of myself!

"I swear to god, you better find out where you are and how to get your ass back to the house." After that he hung up. Now what? I will have to find a way home. I look around and everyone is still looking at me. I can't stand this. Instead of saying something I just left the room. I found my way outside but now I have to figure out which way to go. Left or right? This is such a hard decision! If I make a wrong turn I could end up in some other town. I guess I will go right.

I walked for forty minutes and I ended up back at the book store. I am almost there. I just need to walk for about thirty more minutes and I will be home. I just have to keep walking and I will finally be home.

I turn around and see a car coming my way. Why does that car look so familiar? Maybe I am just imaging it. I mean someone can have the same car as someone else and anyways, what are the chance I know that person in the car. Even if I did they wouldn't stop to talk to me. If they did stop it would be to tell me how worthless I was, not like I didn't know or anything but some people like repeating things.

I can't hep but feel paranoid about that car. Why am I so worried about it? I have to get home before it gets any darker so I have to stop thinking about that damn car. I just need to focus on getting home. If I run a bit I can cut the time of getting there down. Damn that car looks like it is following me. I better start running. I can see the grocery store that you pass to get to my house, that means I am half way there. Damn that car is getting closer. I turn around to see it to get a better look at it. Guess what? Demyx is driving that car, I should have known. It was like some stupid author was writing a story about my life and was making it as corny as possible. The next thing you know I will fall in love. No, not me, I will never love or be loved.

Shit, his car is getting closer to me! I run into the grocery store hoping he will come in and I could loose him there. I run down an aisle but not to far where I can't see if he came in. Yes, it worked! He is in the store and he brought some of those kids from earlier. I just need to lose them in an aisle. Wow, they went the opposite of where I am. Okay, I am safe but I should wait a few minutes before I do anything. I have to come up with a plan... Okay, I will make sure the it is safe to go and then I will sneak out and go home before he realizes I left.

I need to make sure this plan is going to work. I peek my head out the aisle and the coast seems to be clear. Lucky for me there are little hole on the side of the walls so I can see if Demyx or the other are in the aisle next to mine. I look through and it is safe. Now is my time to go before he sees me. I run hiding behind some of the shoppers and before I know it I am outside and running home. That was easier than I thought it would be. I just have to stay focused. That was my only chance to lose Demyx and his friends and I used it. At least it worked out for now. I slow down my pace to a walk and think of the best way to plan on what to do when I get home. I know I am going to take it for sure but how will I make it hurt less. A lot of people would have stayed with Demyx but I am not like most people.

Most people have a chance in this world. I don't. Most people have fun and remember the feeling of happiness. I don't. Most people don't put up punishment. I do. Most people have someone who loves them. I don't. Most people didn't have to hide from their parents when they were children. I did. Most people have peaceful lives and hardly had to even work as a child. I didn't.

Enough of this talk about my life. I still need to come up with a plan. I heard if you don't struggle the rapist gets bored and leaves. I hope that works because it's the only thing I got. I don't want to stay with Demyx. I don't need his charity, I was doing just fine without him.

I am almost home I can see the outlining of my house. Just a few more feet and I can take my punishment and go to sleep. I can imagine the comfortableness of my bed. It was always there for me no matter what. It was like the family I never had. My bed was always so sweet, hiding stuff for me, taking me in after I was damaged, helping me drift off to sleep, my bed did it all. Not once did it refuse me comfort. I appreciate my bed so much.

What the fuck! Demyx's car just stopped beside me! What is he doing here! I was for sure I lost him at the grocery store. I was so close to my house too, I was basically in my front yard.

"What do you think your doing," Demyx asked, actually sounding worried. I must have been imagining it no one ever worries about me.

"I am going home. What does it look like," I say.

"I know that but why are you doing it," Demyx questioned as some of the other people got out the car. My father is coming out the house. This is just great.

"Boy, get your ass over here so we can finish where we left off from earlier today," his words are slurred but I know better than not to listen to him. I run over to him before Demyx can stop me and my father starts to tie up my hands. Oh great he is going to this in the front yard. At least it is dark outside so you can't really see. Everyone that was in Demyx's car is staring at me. My dad pulls my pants off and it looks like he has been waiting to do this for a while. He gets himself ready without wasting a second. I look over at Demyx and his friends to see they don't know what to do. I wish they would just leave! I guess none of them have been in this situation either so they have no idea what to do.

My father applies the lube on me now and it is so cold. I deserve this. He ties my feet now so I can't escape, not like I would try anyway. He gets on top of me and makes sure to hold me down. "This is what happens to little pricks like you," He hissed into my ear.

"I know," I say. Why won't he get on with it! He finally takes a sharp plunge but he missed my prostate. I gasp from the unexpected plunge. This hurt more than I thought it would. "You worthless, mother fucker," he said, taking another try at hitting my prostate. He missed but I could still feel the pain. This is like hell. "Please... Get off me," I beg, I hate myself for begging to someone like my father. He smirked obviously liking the fact I begged. He took one more try and hit my prostate and I gasped. It hurt so much. "Please! I promise I will kill myself after this, if it pleases you! Just stop it," I yelled tears running down my face. He stared laughing and took another plunge. I yelled in pain, more tears streaming down my face. He was pushed off me all of a sudden but I knew this wasn't the end. He wasn't done with me yet. He would never be done until I died. I look over to see what happened to my father and it looks like Marluxia and that red-head were beating him. I rested my head on the ground hoping I was dead.

Demyx comes running over and unties my legs and arms. The first thing I did was put my pants on. "Thanks," is all I can manage to say. I shouldn't have been so stupid and gone back to my father. I just didn't like being so desperate. I turn my head away from Demyx ashamed when out of nowhere Demyx hugs me. I flinch expecting to get hit but no it is just a hug. "I am never letting you out of my sight again," Demyx said in a soothing voice while peting my hair.

**Oh yes. Pretty good? I thought so. Well at a certain point in the story I thought I was being repetitive again. But whatever it only matter what you think my pretties. Oh and I am going to Canada for a few days and I don't know if my cousins have a thing to type this on so yeah... Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello, my minions. Thank you so much for the reviews. I would love if you guys left suggestions on what should happen next... I don't own **_**Kingdom Hearts**_** but I do own this story and none of you can steal it! This one is a little short but I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with this chapter... Alright! **_**Shhh!**__** The story is starting!**_

__I grabbed a few things from my house and left. Marluxia and the red-head, named Axel, beat up my father rather bad. He can hardly move and when my mother came home I got a few things thrown at me but nothing to complain about.

I am in the car with Demyx, Axel, and Marluxia and we are going back to Demyx's place. I can't believe I thought I could take care of myself, I should have known. I can't do anything right. I will always ruin everything and it can't be stopped. I am such a failure...

I looked at my feet he whole way back to Demyx's house and by the time we pulled into his driveway I am nearly asleep. I am so tired and my bed wasn't here to comfort me. When I stepped out the car I feel to the ground. Demyx came running around to my side of the car and said in a panicky voice, "Zexion, Are you okay!" I thought he said he does this all the time.

"Yeah, I am fine. I just fell down," I said and stood up. My ass still hurts from the rape, I feel like I am walking funny but I know I am not. I reach to grab the bag I packed but Marluxia snatches it up before I can. I hate this helpless feeling but I am not going back to my house this time.

We walk into Demyx house but for some reason it feels different this time. It isn't as welcoming as before because this time I know I won't be trusted to leave the house by myself. I am so glad tomorrow is a weekend. I can just sleep and forget the whole thing.

"You are sleeping in my room tonight," Demyx said, breaking the silence. I don't want to be ungrateful but I don't like sharing rooms. I don't need to be watched all the time, I learned my lesson.

"No thanks," I say, hoping he will just drop it. Oh great, I think I hurt his feelings.

"Zexion, is it," Axel says, his eyes scanning my body. I nod in response.

"You are going to sleep in Demyx's room and if you even think about fighting that you won't remember he just saved you ass," Axel said. Damn, he was right! Demyx saved me from ever getting raped or even killed. It was a nice thought that he could care but I am to smart to believe that. It was pity that made him want to help me. There was nothing more to it and I knew that better than abybody else.

"Alright," I said, wanting to add the fact that if my father killed me he would have done the world a favor. Demyx face lit up and he pulled me to his room. How could he be so happy? I think he has a problem or something. Marluxia and Axel stopped by to drop off my stuff but when they did they looked at Demyx and I then at each other and smirked. What is that all about? They are gone now but still. You don't just smirk for no reason.

Demyx went to the bathroom really fast to change his clothes. I am not changing it hurts to much to move. I lay on the floor, curl up to keep myself warm, and fall asleep...

_ "You worthless prick!" I could hear my father yell and then a huge wave of pain set in. "Why haven't you killed yourself yet? You would be doing the world a favor!" The pain got worse. _

_ "We all want you dead!" I heard different voices yell all at once. I could make a few of them out; Let's see there was my father, my mother, Xaldin, Larxene, Vexen, Saix, and Demyx. I was use to everyone saying things like this but when Demyx said it, I felt like someone stabbed me through the heart. Why did it hurt so much. I just met Demyx and I am not in love with him anyway. I couldn't be, could I? No, I am just being stupid. I could never been love, it was impossible, I don't even know what love is. _

_ The pain is just getting worse and worse. I feel like I can't breathe. I can see Demyx in the distance. I try to yell for him but nothing comes out. Help me! I can't breathe! Help me, Demyx! I am suffocating! Save me! Demyx, please...There is no point in trying to yell anymore. I was going to die anyway, there was no point in trying anyway. _

_ The weird thing though is I kind of want to live but I know it would be better if I died. I can't stand this. Why can't I know what to do? Live or die? Would it make a difference in my case? I doubt it would._

_ I start to panic trying to find a way that I can breathe again but I can't. I suppose this is what happens to people like me, who were just mistake. I try yelling for Demyx one more time but it's no use, I fall to the floor and die wishing that Demyx would have heard me._

My eyes flutter open to see three thing that I wasn't expecting. First, I was still alive. Second, I was on the bed when I clearly feel asleep on the floor. Third, Demyx was in a chair playing his sitar.

I sit up and look around. It feels like last night was a dream, erm, a nightmare was more like it. I am going to take a shower and then get some breakfast. I stand up and grab some clothes and walking the bathroom. The whole time as I was doing this Demyx kept his eyes on me, watching my every move. Talk about awkward!

I turn on the water to a burning hot. It hurts so much but it feels so right but no matter how much I wash I can't help but feel disgusting. I scrub my skin until it is reed but I don't feel any cleaner. I don't think I will ever feel the same way again. Its like I lost something the last thing I had in this world. Now I think I have nothing but this life that no one would ever want...

I look out the shower to see Demyx has a razor by the sink and I can imagine the sweet taste if metal sinking into my sink. I know it's his but I left my knife in my bag. I prefer knifes over razors any day. Razors are harder to cut with and don't do a very good job at cutting. Knifes on the other hand cut well depending on the type you have. Some cut easily and the pain feels right. While others are hard to cut with and doesn't make you bleed unless you press extra hard plus, the pain just feels weird, like you aren't cutting right. There is no way to cut wrong unless you use a thumbtack or something wimpy like that and if you are using that you might as well not cut.

I grab the razor and cut on my thigh and hip. I don't want it to be so obvious I cut myself because then I might not even be trusted to take a shower by myself. The pain is sweet and caring as if it understands me. My worries disappear, along with my blood into the drain.

I wait until the bleeding seems to have stopped. Bleeding always seems to last longer when you use razor blades but maybe that is just depends on how deep you cut with a knife. Then I get dressed, brush my teeth, and go back into the room to see Demyx still waiting. I feel like I am being burden.

"It's time for breakfast, are you coming," Demyx asked, but for some reason he seemed a little unsure about asking if I wanted to eat. Now that I think about it I am a little hungry but I don't want to get to cozy being here. Because by the time that I do Demyx will realize how much he hates me, I don't know why he hasn't realized it yet, thought.

I shrug and follow him to the dining room. At my house you would just eat in the kitchen but he has a special room for it. Wow, Demyx lives in a really nice house. It seems like everything is perfect in this house, well _almost_ everything, after all I am living here for now. There is already food on the table, we didn't have to make it for ourselves!

I grab a one waffle and that's all. I don't want to eat to much or anything. Demyx gives me a worried look and says, "Don't you want anything else?"

I was about to say something when Larxene piped up and said, "Like his fat ass needs it!"

I thought there were lots of things wrong with me but I never thought I was fat. Now that I think about it, I am a little fat. I could stand to lose a few pounds, maybe I should just skip this meal but if I do Demyx will get worried. Wait, since when did I give a damn what Demyx thought...

I guess I will just drink some juice and have a bite of this waffle, no need to seem ungrateful. Demyx keeps looking at me and it is making me a little uncomfortable. I can't just leave, can I? Would that seem rude? Demyx did say he wasn't going to leave me alone anymore and he still looks like he is eating.

I look around to see a few of the other people Demyx took in are looking at me. Have I already done something wrong? Why am I asking myself that of course I did something wrong, it was me, I always do something wrong! Vexen and Larxene are whispering to each other and looking up at me every so often. I wonder what they are planning. Demyx is still staring at me. What is with him? I don't know but it makes me uncomfortable. Why is everyone looking at me! I can't stand this! I liked it better before when no one looked my way!

"Hey, emo, I have a question" Vexen said, "What would it take for me to get you to kill yourself."

Great now everyone's attention was on me but I don't really care what they think. I was willing to do it right here, right now. "Get me a knife and I will do it right now," I say being completely serious and Larxene handed me a knife. If everyone's attention wasn't on me before it is for sure now. I took the knife and stood up to do this, I was about to stab myself in the wrist when Demyx tackled me to the ground and made the knife fall out my hand. I can't stand this, why won't he let me kill myself? He is on top of me and actually looks like he cares.

"Zexion, you can't kill yourself! There is so much to live for! Please, let me help you," Demyx sounded like he could break down into sobs any second now. I can't just say no but I don't want to say yes. "Okay," I say.

"R-really," Demyx questioned.

"But I will only give you until the end of the year to change my mind," I say. That seems reasonable to be and I am giving him a chance to change my mind.

**Alright, well this is all I am writing because I am going to Canada and I don't know if they have the program I use to type this up on. Please review and Zexion would love to know what you want to happen next it the story! Isn't that right Zexion.**

** Zexion: Yeah, whatever and by the way, this person who claims to be my "lover" is crazy and doesn't know how to write a decent story!**

** Be quite Zexion! Our readers don't want to hear about my faults but they do want to hear about the deal for this story.**

** Zexion: She wants to have gotten at least 5 new reviews by the time she gets back.**

** That's right! And until I do no new chapters! Alright, bye and don't forget to review!**


	5. Chapter 5

** Hey everyone! Canada was fun, I got my first ever action figure but my cousin sat on it, causing it to open.. I worked on the story during my vacation for you guys, so be grateful that I had a notebook just laying around but I will probably end up adding more to the story anyway... Zemyx13 wanted a shout out so here it is! You are super awesome! Alright, with all that said and done, lets start this story!**

The year was almost up, just five more months left. That's all the time Demyx had to change my mind. "Well, you better get started," I said, pushing Demyx off me. I can tell the next five months are going to be crazy but I doubt enough to change my life.

"Well, how about we go see a movie together," Demyx said, "just you and me."

I must have just imagined that Demyx asked me out. The most popular, cutest boy in the whole school would never ask me out and be serious. This must be a joke! No one would ask someone as ugly and worthless as me out on a date. It wasn't possible... What am I talking about? It wasn't it a date it was just pity and I don't even know if he is gay. He could be thinking it is just two guys going to the movie.

"Well, what do you say," Demyx asked. What do I say, no? I couldn't say that to him. He was to perfect to hear that. "Um, sure," Is all I manage to say.

I am sure this will end up like everything else in my life: Suck-tasticly. I am sure it will end like this: I will be ready to go and he will realize what a mistake it was to ask me out was or that making me think twice about killing myself was just stupid. The chances of it happening it differently are very low.

Even though I know better, a little part of me is still hoping for more and I don't know why. I know Demyx won't succeed in helping me but I almost want him to. I know hoping is just a waste and love is just something created by fictional authors but I can't help but hope to be loved. It will never happen and especially not for someone like me. It can't... Can it?

It looks like breakfast is over but everyone is just leaving their plates on the table. I should probably do something about it. I stuck plates on top of each other and take them into the kitchen. I stick them into the empty sink and go to get more. When I get back into the dining room, I see Demyx and this one lady talking. She was pretty and had light blonde hair, it was like sunshine. They turned to me and I couldn't help but expect that they were going to yell at me. Okay, if they yell at me I deserve it and if they don't I still deserve to get yelled out for starting a scene this morning.

"So, you must be Zexion. I am Demyx's mom," She said, her voice was soft as if she was afraid to raise her voice at me. I wave and reach to grab some more plates but Demyx stops me. "We have a maid. She will take care of cleaning up after everyone," Demyx said like it was no big deal to have a maid. He has like everything, doesn't he!

"I don't mind cleaning up," I said, trying not to be rude. It's not that I want to clean up, it's just I feel like I should. They were so nice to me, taking me in like this, the least I could do was clean up.

Demyx was pulling me down the hallway before I knew what was happening. I could see Demyx's mother laughing lightly at the scene. How could a mother be so kind? This is such a different atmosphere, I don't know if I like it or not.

"Alright," Demyx said, still pulling me down the hallway, "now that we are out of there, I need to talk to you."

Oh great, here it comes, he doesn't want to me here anymore and the date was just a joke. At least I was expecting it. I nod to let him know I was listening.

"I want you to know if you ever want to talk we can," Demyx said. Yeah, right like he would wan to hear what I had to say. He would be bored of it in a second and think I complain to much. I just nod in response and Demyx goes on to say, "Your parents were just asses, that didn't know how lucky they were to have you as a son. You are not fat, either! Larxene is just a bitch on permanent PMS. Vexen is smart but as for strength, he is lacking there. They are both ingrates that don't realize something wonderful when it is in front of them... Zexion, I want you to stay with me at my house. It could become your home too, if you give it a chance," Demyx said. It almost sounds rehearsed, like he said it to everyone. The worst thing about it was that I want to believe every word he said but I know he is wrong. I was worthless and fat, and my parents were cursed to have me as a son. As for Larxene, I knew she was a bitch but she did remind me about how worthless I am. Vexen was really smart but everyone knows he usually hides behind the stronger people for protection but it's not like he couldn'y fight if he wanted to... Why does Demyx try to make me believe these lies!

"Demyx, shut up, your lying. I bet you say that to everyone," I said without realizing that I said it, until it was to late. Demyx looked shocked that someone said that to him, like he was expecting me to just accept it and everything would be just fine.

"I am not lying I mean every word of it," Demyx said, still seeming to be in disbelief someone said told him to shut up.

"I am a lot of but a fool isn't one of them," I said, sounding cold, even to myself. I don't know what has come over me. Where this confidence came from?

"I don't think you are one... I just wanted to help you."

"I don't need help, anymore! I am fine."

"You just got raped by your father and tried to kill yourself during breakfast. You are not 'fine' let me help you."

"I am content and you don't need to worry about me. I can take care of myself."

"Just because you are content doesn't mean you are happy, Zexion..."

I opened my mouth to fight back but then I realize Demyx is right and there was nothing I could do about it. I always said I was content, if on the off chance someone cared but I always knew I wasn't happy but I never thought I could be anything more than content. At least I think this feeling is content, I could be wrong... Now, that I think about it, I honestly have no idea how I feel but if I had to choose something I would say numb. I don't think I have felt anything in a while and I like it that way.

"Alright, Demyx, you are right but I really can take care of myself," I say. Demyx lifted my head so that I looked him in the eyes and said, "Zexion, I know you can take care of yourself but I _want _to help you. Please, just... Just let me help you."

I can't take much more of this. How could someone be so kind? It shouldn't be possible. I must just be imagining Demyx was here. Wait, that doesn't make sense. Maybe, I passed out after one of my father's lessons and my days are just passing by really fast in my mind. That would make more sense than me just imagining it but this feels so real.

"Alright," I say after a long pause. Demyx pulls me into his arms and it feels so right, but why does it hurt? Why does it make me cry? Why do I never want to leave his arms? Where was Demyx when he I needed him most?

He smells like the ocean or at least what I imagined the ocean would smell like. I have never been to the beach, in fact I have never been swimming before. Every time I asked to go the answer was always the same or around the lines of: "Someone as worthless as you would ruin the beach for everyone."

I was about to pull away, when Demyx tightens his hold on me as if afraid of letting me go. It was like he knew I was going to go. Of course he does, he has done this before. I am nothing special and I never would be. I wish I was though, because maybe then I would stand a chance at being loved. Who am I kidding, not even a miracle could help me.

"Demyx, aren't you getting cozy with Zexion," Axel said, as he turned the corner. I knew it was him because his voice is so distinct.

I looked up slightly to see Demyx's reaction and see he is blushing as he said, "Not as cozy as I would like. Speaking of things that are cute and small, where's Roxas?"

I can feel my face turn a little red. Did I really just get called cute? I can't believe it, I won't believe it! I shouldn't be getting complimented! Wait! Something else just hit me. Demyx wanted to get more "cozy" with me!

"He is hanging out with Xion," Axel said, almost sound mad about having to even say this one sentence. I guess Axel is jealous but I don't think he has anything to worry about. Whenever I see them together they seem like they are made for each other. I guess they are lucky to get to feel "love," even if it is mostly just hormones. I won't ruin it for them by telling them the truth. They can spend the rest of their lives together, without knowing.

For the first time I realized I was hiding my face in Demyx's chest. I mean I knew we were still hugging and my head was by his chest but I didn't realize I was hiding my face in his chest. It was almost like I was a small child, well the kind I saw in books, I have never done his before. He probably disgusted in me but if he is, why is he petting the back of my head, as if it was the most natural thing he could do and why does it feel so right?

Good thing I learned to cry silently; I learned how to when I was still living with my parents as a child. I have been crying quite a bit but why? I don't feel anything yet I am crying. I am worthless yet Demyx tries to convince me other wise. I am to smart to hope yet a part of me still does when I am with Demyx. I have never had someone seem like they would be there for me no matter what I needed yet Demyx says he would. The worst part is no matter how hard I try, when he he will be there I want to believe him and a little part of me does the more and more he says it. Why is everything about Demyx now-a-days.

I wish I was dead, I hate it when I don't know something and right now I don't know anything anymore. I don't know what I am feeling. I don't know how someone could be so nice. I don't know if I want to believe anything Demyx says. I don't know if I am really a mistake. I don't know if I can even love...

I made a deal with Demyx that I wouldn't kill myself if he changes my mind but I doubt he could do that in five months. Was it even possible? Was it even worth it? I doubt it...

"Axel, you know Roxas will always be faithful to you," Demyx said, still holding me in his arms.

"Of course, I know that, Demyx but I want still don't like the idea of losing my sweet Roxas," Axel said. Ever since I meet this red-head I never thought he could speak with so much care for that little blonde. I thought stuff like this only happened in books. I am really starting to think I am knocked out. I can imagine my body laying there on the floor, being stepped over like common garbage and when I wake up I will have something to clean up. Oh well, c'est la vie.

"You won't lose him and even if you do you always have me to hang out with," Demyx said, actually sounding excited about the idea.

"We aren't going to break-up, Demyx," Axel said, before just leaving. How rude! He didn't even say good bye!

Demyx looked down at me and said, "Come on, I want to show you something."

I move off Demyx and wipe my eyes so he can't see how much I was crying. I am so weak to cry! I am pathetic! Demyx grabbed one of my hands and pull until we got to in front of some doors and Demyx said, "This was my fathers favorite place to go when I was a child. I haven't been in here since he died but I thought you might like to come here. It has a lot of books and you seem to like them."

"Demyx, I couldn't, this was your fathers," I say but Demyx cuts my off. "I want you to feel at home and he wouldn't mind. He always loved when somebody took in interest in reading," Demyx says as he opened the door for me to go inside. It is huge and there are books everywhere! The walls where like a rainbow and you could smell the pages from the books, even if they haven't been opened in a while. It is so beautiful, I have never seen so many books all at once. On the table sat a book that was covered in dust. I went over to pick it up and rubs the dirt off it with my sleeve. When all the dust was off it in golden writing it told you this book was _Alice in Wonderland._

"My father use to read that to me as a child. It was his favorite, he would sit here for hours and work but every so often he would stop and take a break to read it to me. I would sit and practice my music over in that corner," Demyx said, looking sadden by the memory.

I can't stand to see him sad, it just wasn't like him to be sad. "Maybe, one day I could read it to you," I suggested, hoping it would make him smile.

"Yeah," he said and smiled, as he said this as if even the thought of hanging out with me was the greatest thing ever.

**Alright, this chapter was short and I am sorry but I wasn't really feeling it. Thanks you to everyone you suggested stuff for my story! Oh and I have a question for everyone!**

**When Xigbar closes his eye is he winking or blinking? **

**If you have the answer leave it in the comment box or even if you don't leave a comment anyway. Peace out! **


	6. Chapter 6

** Hey everyone! You guys have been saying so many nice things about this story, when I think there are so many flaws. So, I think you guys should maybe not be so nice to me, I mean I was expecting insults not these nice things being said. Anyway! Thanks for the reviews, I don't own **_**Kingdom Hearts, **_**you know all that stuff. LET'S GET THIS STORY STARTED!**

I sat in that library for hours, never wanting to leave. I was almost done with _Alice in Wonderland _again. I stopped every so often when Demyx came in and read to him where we left off. He left to get some gummy snacks or something like that. I wasn't exactly sure what they were but, with how many packs Demyx has eaten, they must be good. They are some artificially flavored gummy snack, I think. He has offered them to me every time he gets them but I don't need them. I know Demyx said I wasn't fat but I still think he is wrong. Anyway, I don't deserve to eat. I am just being a bother to everyone and everything in this house.

I hear the door open and I get the book ready for where we left off but it isn't Demyx, it's Axel and Marluxia. What are they doing here? Where was Demyx? I hope he is planning on coming back. Wait, why did I just say that?

They come over and sit on each side of me. I hope I didn't do anything to set them off, what am I talking about. Of course I did something wrong! "Wow, Demyx never let's anyone in this room. You must be, pretty special," Marluxia said, looking around.

Why didn't Demyx tell me that this room was off limits. More importantly, why did he take me here if no one was suppose to be in this room. I feel bad now, did Demyx feel the need to show me this place for some reason? I don't need to be treated special. I mean, I have always been treated differently, or at least I don't think that anyone else is treated the way I am, but now that it was in a good way and I don't know how to handle it. All I know is I should say thank you but other than that what do I do?

I couldn't help but wonder, "What are you guys doing in here, then"

"Just thought we would check up on you. Demyx has been running back and forth, grabbing something to eat and then coming back here. He wouldn't say a world to anyone until we stopped him on his last trip. We told him to go pick up a few things and we would stay here with you while he was gone."

"I see... Well, as you can see, I am fine by myself so you two can go," I say, looking at them, then at the door, and back at them again. I know I wasn't trusted by myself and I wasn't shocked but I hate this. I feel like a freak-show. I can take care of myself and I don't plan on going back to my father anytime soon.

"No can do. You see, Zexion, we are not about to leave you alone," Marluxia said, as he pulled the book from my hands. I reach out to take the book back and Marluxia sticks his hand out at me as if to tell not to even try to take the book back.

"Demyx, has seem to have taken quite a liking for you, Zexion," Marluxia said, studying the book. Demyx actually likes me? No, he couldn't, it was all just a lie. Well, maybe he could like me, right? Calm down, Zexion! No need to get what little hope you have destroyed! My hope has grown slowly and there is still very little of it but it is defiantly there, I can feel it in my stomach. Hope has a very weird feeling about it. It is like magic and makes you believe that you can do something, no matter how ridicules. Maybe this feeling that surround this new hope is... No it couldn't be! Could it? Wait am I talking about! It couldn't be... Happiness? Could it?

I need to stop thinking like this! It hasn't even been a month and Demyx has already made me get this weird feeling! It tickles in my tummy and it almost makes me want to smile but smiling is something that I have not done in years. I don't even know if I can smile.

"I hope you realize how special you are. Demyx doesn't generally like people," Axel said.

"He doesn't," I questioned. Demyx seems like the type to fall for anyone and if he is falling for me, he _must_ fall for anyone. The worst part is, if he keeps falling, I don't know if I can catch him...

Who am I kidding, he couldn't fall in love with me. I am just too worthless and I don't deserve love. I should have died long before this and now with everyone watching I can't very well do it. If and when Demyx fails I am sure if I try to kill myself they would take me to some hospital like I was some sort of unstable loon. Even though I know killing yourself isn't the healthiest thing but what other choice do I honestly have left? I have never had someone say they love me and mean it. I was a fool about that last guy and I guess he is happy with someone else, not even remembering my name or face.

Marlxuia pulled me out of my thoughts by slamming the book on the table and saying, "No, he doesn't and every guy Demyx has ever liked before has been an ass or a loser. So we wanted to give you the little heads up, that if you break his heart we break your face. Got it?"

I nod, I mean what else could I do? I couldn't very well say, "No, I don't. You are a total ass to push me and him into a relationship that is doomed to start with." So many things could have happened if I said that, one of them being I get my nose broken right then and there and personally I don't want to get any uglier than I already I am.

"Good," was all Marluxia said in response, I guess that's all he could really say. "How can you stand it in here? It is so _boring!_ All there is in here are books and dust," Axel said, not realizing how great this really was. Marluxia shrugs leaning back in his chair, with his feet on the table. I hope he falls over.

How could Axel say this was boring? "Maybe because you aren't reading a book," I say, I probably sound like a bitch but really, Axel had it coming to him.

"I would read a book but there aren't any good ones," Axel said, sound bored. How could he say _that? _

"There are good books, you just haven't given them a chance," I say, a bit annoyed. I mean, come on! He didn't even take a look around and he is already judging them.

"No, thank you. This place is huge and I am sure there are not any good books, even if I looked around."

"How can you judge something you haven't even given a chance? There are no good or bad books, just some don't peek your interest as much as others, that's all."

"I am not much of a reader and I don't think I will take it up."

I can't stand his ignorance anymore. I stand up and go to a shelf, pull out a book called _The House of the Scorpion_ and hand it to Axel. "Try this," I said, shoving the book into his arms. I know I am being rude but I love books. They are like my best friend even if they can't walk or talk or any of that stuff. They have always given me a way to escape. Axel starts to read out loud, "_Youth: Zero to six. _

_In the beginning there were thirty-six of them, thirty-six droplets of life so tiny that Eduardo could see them only under the microscope. He studied them anxiously in the darkened room._

_ Water bubbled through tubes that snaked around the warm humid walls. Air was sucked into growth chambers. A dull, red light shone on the faces or the workers as they watched their own arrays of little glass dishes. Each one contained a drop of life._

_ Eduardo moved his dishes, one after the other, under the lens of a microscope. The cells were perfect-or so it seemed. Each was furnished with all it needed to grow. So much knowledge was hidden in that tiny world! Even Eduardo, who understood the process very well, was awed. The cell already understood what color hair it was to have, how tall it would become, and even if it preferred spinach to broccoli. It might even have a hazy desire for music or crossword puzzles. All that was hidden in the droplet._

_ Finally the round outlines quivered and the lines appeared, dividing the cells in two. Eduardo sighed. It was going to be all right. He watched the samples grow, and the he carefully moved them to the incubator. _

_ But it wasn't all right. Something about food, the heat, the light was wrong, and the man didn't know what it was. Very quickly over half of them died. There were only fifteen now, and Eduardo felt a cold lump in his stomach. If he failed he would be sent to the farms, and then what would become of Anna and the children, and his father, who was so old?" _

Axel started to drift to reading to himself and Marluxia obviously wasn't please, "Why did you stop reading?"

Interesting, I didn't think Marluxia would be interested in this book. "I am still reading, just to myself now," Axel said, not taking his eyes off the book. I obviously picked a good book.

"Keep reading _out loud_," Marluxia said, glaring at Axel.

"No, just read the book after me," Axel said, moving the book away from Marluxia and not seeming to mind that Marluxia was glaring at him. Marluxia was about to say something, that I assume was going to be mean, when Demyx came in carrying bags and balancing a wrapped package on his head. I got to hand it to him, he was talented. He walked over here very carefully, drops the bags all at once and tilts his head forward, and caught the package. I wonder what was in it and who it was for. Axel looked pleased as if something was about to happen and Marluxia had a smirk on his face as if they planned something for this moment in time. Demyx turned to me smiling and held out the box. I don't understand, does he want me to hold it for him? "For you," Demyx says, as if he can tell I didn't know what to do with it.

"For me? Why," I say, trying to recall an important event. Let's see he doesn't know when my birthday is and plus it isn't today, not Christmas, and I can't think of any other time to get a gift. Not that I ever did before, holidays were never a big deal in my house. It was just like every other day.

"Just because. Now, open it," Demyx said, seeming very excited. I take the box very carefully from his hands. I have seen wrapping paper but I have never actually pulled it off a present before. It is wrapped rather nicely, it is black paper that is smooth, with a blood red bow around it. I pull the end of the bow and it pulls of easily. I am a bit nervous with all three of them staring at me, when I pull the tape off and move the paper to see it is a new cell-phone. It was black and it was the kind with the keyboard, that you flip open to use.

It makes my old phone look like crap. My old one was all scratched up and was used before I got it. It was the old kind with regular numbers and the screen was a bit fuzzy. This one is much to nice for me to own.

"D-Demyx? Why did you get me a new cell-phone? My old one is fine," I say, trying to hand it back to him.

"Well, since you are moving in I wanted you to get a new one and I am sure your dad would cancel out your old one anyway," Demyx said, folding my hand around it. How could he be so nice? This is insane! No, I am insane. "Check it out, I had the guy put some cool ring-tones in it for you," Demyx said, rubbing the back of his head. He even got ring-tones put in it! What is wrong with him!

I turn it on and go to my ring-tone set up and listen to the default ones, before getting to the ones Demyx had installed. Let's see, there was: _Magic_ by Pilot, _Can you feel the love tonight _(the _Lion King _version), a few guitar solos_, _and a lot of other songs that I don't feel like going into.

"Thank you, Demyx but I couldn't take this," I say, already feeling bad. I mean, really? A cell-phone? Demyx, what goes through your mind when you do these kind of things?

"I want you to have it. Please, Zexion, just take it," Demyx says. I nod and sigh, a freaking cell-phone. This was so nice, I don't know how to repay him. Maybe I should get a job and buy him something just as nice.

I mean a gift just because? I don't buy it. No one it _that_ nice...

**Alright this is a short chapter but I was kind of bored and forced myself to type it. I am sorry it was sucky but I couldn't think of what should happen. So, maybe more suggestions? I don't know anyway. I want all of you to go to this website and subscribe!**

** It is my teachers blog and I told him I would help him find people subscribe so yeah. Thanks for reading and I will try harder next chapter and don't forget reviews help me type faster. Bye!**


	7. Chapter 7

** Hey, so I know the website didn't show up last time so here it is again. **

** B r a d m o u t h . c o m (no spaces in any of this, if it showed up)**

** Please join it is free and all you do is give your email! He is funny! Join and I don't own **_**Kingdom Hearts**_** so let's get this party started! Oh! And thanks for the reviews, they mean a lot. **

Demyx and I are at the movies, I can't believe he didn't see how big of a mistake this was. I can't believe anything anymore. There is no point and all the things I believed are being changed and I don't like it one bit. I mean, really, who would like me. I ruin everything and everyone's day, let's not forget.

I let out a sigh in disbelief, I am actually going to see a movie with _Demyx_. Now I know he is gay but does that make this a date? I have never been on a date. I probably look like some cheap prostitute. "You look beautiful," Demyx says, I assume he is lying.

"Thanks," I say as we take our seats. We are going to see _Where the Wild Things Are._ **(Quick note that movie was amazing and **_**almost**_** made me cry.) **We turned off our cell-phones as the movie started.

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That movie was amazing! I haven't been to the movie theater in years! I am glad I went with Demyx. Wait, why do I keep saying stuff like that? I am going to bang my head against the wall before the night is up.

We are back at Demyx's house and he is setting me up a room. The room is big and it has a walk in closet! This house never ceases to amaze me. It has white walls that Demyx says we can paint later and the bed sheets are black, since Demyx had some laying around. It just feels like a visit to my grandma's house except I am living here. My grandma would never allow punishments. She use to insist I live with her but m parents wouldn't allow it. I don't know why they wouldn't because they wouldn't have to punish me all the time but they kept me with them.

I jump into the shower noting how my ribs have seem to have gotten better, they don't even look like they were bruised. I remembered to grab my knife from my bag and I sink it into my skin. It is so sweet like a kiss and it doesn't even hurt that much. Everyone thinks it does but they are wrong. Only pussy's really complain about it. It hurts for a second but then you get the beauty of see the blood drip, drip, drip into the drain and be washed down with the water. It is simple and it is easy and sometimes you just need a reminder that you are alive. I have been feeling more alive than I have in years and when I step out the shower I don't hear my father telling me to clean up the mess from a earlier punishment. I just here the faint sound of Demyx's sitar in the room next to mine, since he insisted that I stay in the room next to his. Which I guess makes sense, I am still not trust by myself but the room is an improvement. I am only aloud to be by myself in here and I have to be checked on every so often unless it is night time and everyone is asleep.

I took some books from the library and grabbed some books to read later. I should be done with them soon, no one will miss them. I lay down in bed and as twisted as this may sound I kind of miss the punishments...

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I wake up in the morning **(Feeling like P. Diddy. I'm sorry couldn't help myself) **and get ready for school. This was going to be so much fun. I mean there is nothing better than getting beaten up by two people you have to live with and there friends. I can't wait until I get shoved into a locker and then get tripped at lunch, which I am skipping today. Then I get to top it all off with coming back here to get to see the two people who hate me and Demyx feeling like he has to be nice to me. I will go to the library won't be trusted to be by myself but in time I think I will be able to be trusted and then my days might not be as bad.

Demyx insists on driving me there since he doesn't want me to have to walk to the bus stop. It isn't that far of a walk but I am not going to reject a ride, especially since it's raining. This will be a _great _day, I can already tell.

I am wearing a t-shirt and black jeans, Axel gave me a chain to put on my pants because he thought it looked cool. It does but I don't really know about it. I mean, I want to buy one now but then I would feel like a poser or something.

**-knock-**

"Come in," I call, I am still not use to people knocking. It happened last night when Axel came in to give me the chain for my pants and I sat there confused. He came in and laughed at me about it but what can you really expect. I am such an idiot sometimes!

Demyx enters the room wearing an Avenged Sevenfold t-shirt and some jeans. I love Avenged Sevenfold, I really like Nightmare by them. "You ready to go," Demyx asked, looking at me top to bottom. Am I not dressed properly? "Y-yeah... Um... Is there something wrong with the way I am dressed," I ask nervously.

"Huh? Oh no, it's just, when you are in a room and it is bright you look... Beautiful," Demyx said, still staring at me. Me? Beautiful? Those two things should never be used in the same sentence. I don't think I need to go into any detail why. Even though I know it's a lie a can feel a light blush come across my face. I turn away so he can't see, "Thanks."

After a pregnant pause Demyx finally says, "Well, let's go."

The car ride there was... Interesting. I guess that's what you would call it. Demyx popped in his Avenged Sevenfold CD and every solo he would take his hands off the wheel to pretend to play it. What is up with him this morning? He must have had some sugar are something. I had to take the steering-wheel way more than I should have had to.

When we finally get to school and Xaldin is waiting at my desk. Oh great, I don't even get a chance to sit down and I am already going to get beat up. "Hey, penis breathe," Xaldin says, how creative. There is no point in trying to fight back so I go ahead and walk over there. "I heard you moved in with Demyx. Now, not only are you worthless, you are pathetic too," Xaldin says.

"I... I am not pathetic," I say, trying to defend myself for once. Saix comes in, "Yes you are Zexion. You were born that way and you will die that way. There is no other way for a nobody, such as yourself, to live."

I look down in defeat. He was right and I was wrong. I can't believe I tried to stand up for myself and think I stood a chance at winning. I am stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I don't deserve any pity! I can't believe I could forget who I am! I am Zexion, the worthless, pathetic moron that knows everyone wants him dead but won't do it, just because of a damn promise that is impossible to keep anyway! I hate this!

They shove me into the floor and dump all the things into my backpack out. "_Alice in Wonderland _what kind of fag books are you reading," Xaldin said, picking up my book.

"It isn't a 'fag' book. It is a classic," I say trying to grab my book just to be pushed back down to the ground again. "You are such a fucking loser," Larxene said, finally showing up and kicking me in the stomach. Why do they even do this at school? And why does nobody try to stop this? Is it because I am not worth it? Yes, that must be it. I am not worth the time it would take to help me and I don't need their pity anyway.

"Not only do we have to deal with you at school but now you live with us," Larxene said, kicking me in the mouth. I can see the blood from my mouth drip onto the floor yet my the pain isn't that bad. I get on my hands and knees so I can stand up but Xaldin stomps my back so I fall back down to the floor. I try once again to see maybe this time if they will let me get up but no this time Vexen stomps me back down to the ground. His stomp doesn't hurt as bad as Xaldin's stomp did but it still hurts. I want to try again but I know if I do I will be stomped back down. Xaldin kicks me and throws my book at me before he, Larxene, and Vexen leave. When I think i have everything i stand up from the floor and I realize Saix is holding out my book so I very timidly reach out and take it.

"Thanks," I say, sticking the book into my backpack, trying not to make eye contact. I wonder what he is still doing here. Shouldn't he have left with Xaldin and everyone else? "Zexion," Saix starts to say, "I am really sorry for being a jerk."

Did Saix just apologize to me? "It's alright," I say, looking down. I can't believe Saix just apologized to me! He was the one who proved me wrong yet he is tell my he is sorry for being a jerk. "I really am sorry, Zexion. I want to make it up to you somehow," Saix say and the last part catches my attention.

"How do you plan on making up to me," I question.

"My dad owns this club and I could get you in," Saix offers.

"I might take you up on that offer but not anytime to soon and thanks."

I take my seat and I am sure my mouth is covered up so you can't see that Larxene kicked me. I guess if Demyx ever let's me out of his sight I have something to do.

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It is lunch time and I am sitting at an empty table without lunch. Just the way I like it. When I am by myself I can think about all the wrongs I have done. I can stare at the table the whole time and not be noticed once. I like how I can read and not be shoved or annoyed. I can just simply be at peace the whole 30 minutes.

Oh great, here comes Demyx, why did I have to have lunch with him and why did he have to notice me? "Hey, come eat with me," Demyx says, being as bubbly as ever. I am sure to hide my face so he can't see what happened, "I am fine, Demyx. Go eat with your friends."

"They aren't my friends, Zexion. They are just people that want to be around me and honestly I don't like most of them," Demyx says, the way he says my name sends chills down my spine.

"If they see you hanging out with me they will hate you," I say.

"They can think what they want,"Demyx says, taking a seat.

I sigh and notice that Luxord, Axel, and Roxas are coming over here too. I have only talk to Luxord once and in that one time he asked me if I wanted to play strip-poker with him. This is kind of awkward for mostly one reason everyone is staring because Demyx was over here. Demyx sits across from me, Axel sits next to me, with Roxas across from him, and Luxord right next to Axel, leaving one seat open for whoever wants it. After a what felt like forever everyone went back to what they were doing and now everyone at the table was looking at me because I just moved my hand from over my mouth exposing the wound. How could I forget that I had it? It hurts like hell and now they know it happened! "Zexion, who did this to you," Demyx asked, looking concerned. I cover up my mouth, "I did," I say giving that lame-ass excuse.

"We aren't stupid, love," Luxord says, not even looking at me. I just turn my head away wishing they would just drop it but I know they won't. "Nothing happened," I lie again even though it is obvious something did happen.

"So your face just got like that," Axel says and you can see he wants the truth.

"Well, not exactly," I say.  
"What happened," Demyx asks.

"It was nothing really," I say.

"Zexion, please tell us. We want to help you," Demyx says.

I was about to say something when Saix came up behind me and saved me from having to answering the question on what happened to my face. "What do you want Saix," Axel says, obviously not liking Saix. "I am here to speak to Zexion," Saix says then looks at me and continues, "When came you come over to my house, so I can tell my father."

I shrug and say, "I am not really sure." I gesture behind me, trying to say let's not talk about this in front of them. Saix nodded as if he understood but before he leaves he say, "Oh Zexion, the next time we talk maybe we can go into a little more detail onto what is happening."

I watch him walk off back to his table before turning around to see everyone at the table staring at me.

**Alright, well this chapter was longer than the last one but only like one person reviewed the last chapter. I don't think this is fair so tell them Zexion how many reviews I want this time.**

** Zexion: She wants at least 6 or more. The more reviews the longer the chapter.**

** Thank you Zexion. I want to remind you to go to B r a d m o u t h . c o m (no spaces in any of this, if it showed up). Good bye! And don't forget to review!**


	8. Chapter 8

** Hey! I got way more reviews than I asked for so thank you very much. I would have wrote this sooner but my internet was broken so I didn't know if you reviewed or not. I hope you all went on that website like I asked you to. I don't own **_**Kingdom Hearts**_** but I did buy **_**358/2 Days**_** recently. The guy there was so funny! Or maybe I am just a nerd. Nah! He was just funny. Alright I am sure you guys don't actually read these things so why don't I start this story already.**

They were all looking at me like I just bit a bat's head off. I don't know what I just did wrong but it must have been a big deal. Was it the fact that I just talked to Saix? I suppose that was it.  
"You aren't going to start hanging out with him," Axel said, more of a command than anything. I mean this wasn't that big of a deal was it? I mean Saix said I was going to his "house" they really have no idea what he was talking about. "Why not," I ask, curious onto why Axel was acting the way he was.

Axel sighs and says, "You just don't need to be hanging out with people like _him._"

I am assuming him and Saix were friends before by the way he said that and Axel never seem to be the type to judge to harshly. I might not meet Saix but I always like having options. "Zexion, just stay with me. You don't want to start hanging out with people like Saix," Demyx says, as if he knows I am still considering Saix. I am probably being foolish upon this matter considering Saix has always been a real ass so I can't very well trust him.

Just as I am about to say something a bell rings telling it is time to get out of here so other students can eat. I oblige to its wishes just happy to get out of that conversation before it actually turned into something more. I mean it was more one-sided then anything but I got some very useful information.

My next subject is math so it will be a breeze. Math is nothing but memorizing equations and solving them. The only hard part is when the contradict each other or if you get two formulas confused. This class is one of my favorites because the only person that would bother me in this class is Saix. Luxord is in this class but I don't think he would say anything about me talking to Saix if I so happened to.

I went to the back of the classroom to where my favorite desk was and sat down. No one took this desk because it was rather old but it was in the back and always seemed to be under-appreciated so I don't mind taking it. I set my back on the side of the chair so it is leaning over but I can easily pick it up if I need to and I set my books under my desk, taking out a pencil for class and of course my faithful calculator.

I play with my pencil as I wait for class to start, there is really not that much you can do in this time unless you have friends. I usually listen in on conversations but it's not like I can tell anyone what someone said and plus I am not big on gossiping. I think I might listen but I don't know what I am going to hear from all this talking going on.

"And then I cut the zombie in half with a pair of scissors"

"The penguin was so cute!"

"I once pulled someones eye out with a tube-sock"

"I made sure she couldn't fly right for a week."

"Zexion is such a loner."

I guess I finally found a topic worth listening in on.

"I heard he move in with Demyx. How can Demyx stand living with that loser."

"I don't know. I actually saw them sitting together at lunch along with Axel, Roxas, and Luxord."

"Really?"

"Yeah, and it looks like Zexion got his face bashed in."

"I bet he deserved it."

"I hope it hurts like hell."

"SETTLE DOWN, CLASS IS STARTING, SETTLE DOWN!"

I almost wish I didn't hear that. The rest of class was boring full of moaning about how hard the work was and the occasional can I borrow something-that-I-should-know-better-than-to-forget item. I start packing my stuff, this was my last subject for the day and the rain has seemed to have gotten worse. I was thinking of riding the bus but I don't want to have to fight against this rain.

Fuck, my pencil is rolling away I better go get it before someone picks it up and claims it as their own. Before I stand up Saix picks it up and takes it over to me and holds it out as if it was a rose. I reach out and take it and mumble a thanks as I stick it into my backpack.

Saix hasn't left yet instead he looks like he is building up the nerve to ask me something, I might as well make the first move. "Yes," I ask, not raising my voice, I still I am not going to take the chance of confidence with a guy that has beaten me up for years and plus I don't have much confidence as it is.

"I was thinking maybe you come over to my house after you leave the club," Saix suggests.

I could easily say no but I don't really want to. I don't know why I would want to or but I do, I want to really bad. Is it because Axel told me not to? What good will come of this? I could just call off the whole thing but then again I never said I was going in the first place. "I told you I doubt I could get out the house," I say, I hope he just drops the subject.

"Demyx lets everyone out of his sight at some point in time and when he does that will be your time to come hang out with me," Saix says, it's like he has done this a thousand times before.

"I don't know..."

"Come on, Demyx won't even miss ya'."

"I will think about and get back to you okay?"

"Sure thing but you should take this," Saix says, holding out a piece of paper, "It's my phone number for when you decide you wanna hang out."

"Right... Thanks, I guess" I says, stuffing the number in my pocket. I doubt I am going to call it but I kind of wonder what would happen if I did. Would he answer the first ring or would he play it cool and answer on the third ring or maybe he wouldn't answer at all. I shouldn't be thinking about whether he would answer or not and besides, I highly doubt I will call him anyway. I doubt going to a club for one night will make years of being harassment go away just like that. "Give me a call when you decide on what you are going to do," Saix says, giving me one last wave before that long blue hair of his goes out of my range of eyesight.

I look around to see not a single person still in the room, not even Luxord. I hope he didn't say anything to Demyx, I don't want to get my room taken away. Damn, this is just like a mental hospital. I can't do anything freely anymore, I hate it. I am not completely helpless, I have taken care of myself for years so I think I could handle walking around a damn house by myself. Oh well, no point in complaining there is nothing I can do but sit and wait for time to pass before I die.

Considering all that Demyx has done, I should be all happy and jumping around but I can't. I can't seem to find a way to happiness and I can't find a way to make myself useful, I think I am lost. I wish it life wasn't so complicated. I guess I will just have to figure something out until the time comes, there isn't much I can do until then but wait.

I walk to the parking lot and find Demyx and everybody else waiting at their cars or with their driver. I could turn back now and make them wait a little longer. I mean what is the worse that could happen right? They may leave Demyx alone though, damn I don't want to make Demyx have to wait for me.

I regret not taking the bus this is so awkward. They are all in their cars watching me, like something big is about to happen. I mean I just got into a car after school nothing big happened. This is ridicules, it seems like everything I do has to be watched or questioned, I hate it. "Hey, Zexion," Demyx says, twiddling his fingers like a little kid. I nod a hello, putting my stuff in my lap and watching the rain beat down on the car looking like it will be raining all day. If I run to Demyx's house I could probably resist getting has wet as I would if I walked. I mean it only makes sense, right?

"You have a good day at school," Demyx asked. What is he trying to get at? Why doesn't he just drive to his house. I got homework and other stuff to do. Ugh, I sound so stuck up, I owe Demyx after all. "It was fine... Demyx why aren't we leaving, yet," I ask, I really hate making awkward small talk. Demyx keeps twiddling his fingers, if he has got something to say I wish he would just do it. I mean, I can take his criticism! I know that I suck at life and I should be dead. If he wants to say it why doesn't he just do it already?

"If you got something to say just-" That's all I manage to say before Demyx kisses me. Why the fuck would he kiss me! I immediately pull away from the kiss and say, "Demyx, why the hell did you kiss me!"

I sound like a total bitch, Demyx deserves better than me. I bet this kiss was just a joke too, I mean who kisses me and means it? Nobody, that is who! "I like you, Zexion," Demyx says, looking down at his hands. He _likes_ me! This is complete bullshit! "Shut up," Is all I can say into response to that lie. It wasn't even a good lie either, yet he still told it.

"Z-Zexion I-"

"No, Demyx, you don't just stop it."

"Yes, I do."

"Shut up, **nobody **could like me, not even you."

"Yes I could and I do."

"You could have anyone you want... So, stop saying things you don't mean and find someone who is worth your time."

"Zexion, I want _you_ and only_ you_. You are the only person I have wanted this bad and I don't think I could ever like, no _love, _anyone just as much as I do you."

He loves me now? No this can't be right, it will never be right! He hardly knows me yet he claims to love me? This is shit, he didn't know who I was until a few weeks ago and the only reason he paid attention to me is because I was being punished. I don't care how many times Demyx has helped peopled he just doesn't understand. I don't need someone telling me they love me and it being a lie. I don't want this shit, I have never wanted this. Why can't he understand how much it hurts when he tells me these things. Why can't I very well say no to him if he asked me out! I think I liked it better when no one knew who I was but a few people that were showing me how unimportant I was. This is all shit that shouldn't be happening. I don't want his fucking charity, I don't need some to say they "love" me when in a few months they are sure to show me how unimportant their love for me is and how absolutely pointless it was!

I grab my stuff and open the door making a run down the street. I don't have anywhere to go but I don't want to stay here. I am tired of Demyx's lies and I don't want pity like some sort of desperate loser! I don't want help and I don't want anyone to try to understand because they don't! I just want to be free from this world, to not have to worry about stuff like this happening, all though I never thought anyone one would say they love me. I wish I could be like Demyx's other friends, where they never had to have the life I had and they got anything and everything they could ever ask for but I am not. I am just a loser that should have died a long time ago but I didn't.

I am running up hill to where the bank is, not that the bank is where I am going. I look back to see if Demyx drove away yet but he hasn't his car is still in the parking spot where he kissed me. I may not see Demyx's car coming but I do see Axel speeding towards me, can't he see how dangerous it is to be speeding in this weather. I am almost to the top but Axel still manages to catch up and him and Marluxia pull me into the car, not even letting me think. They have the doors on child-lock in the back so the only way to get out is to open it from the outside. Damn, they're good. "What the hell is wrong with you," Axel asks, giving me a glance in the mirror. I am not even going to answer this question, I don't want to. "You just ran out on Demyx, do you realize how bad he is hurting, because of you? Roxas has to drive him home he is crying his eyes out," Marluxia says, I guess they know I am not going to answer them. I do feel terrible that Demyx is crying though and all because of me...? This isn't right, why is Demyx taking his lie so seriously. I don't want to believe this, I just no! No, I don't want this to happen, I never have, I never thought it would. Why is this happening to me? I am not meant to be loved! This is all crap! I must be dreaming that is the only reason he would ever say he loves me. No one ever says they love me and mean, it just doesn't happen.

"You are an idiot! What do you plan on doing now because we are not going to let you run away to Saix," Marluxia pressed on. I wasn't actually thinking about that but it is actually a really good idea now that I think about it. I mean, Saix seems determined for me to hang out with him and what better time than now? I don't know, I don't even think I will get another reason to go hang out with him, all it will take is a simple phone call. I already have his okay, so this should prove to be easier than earlier thought.

"Zexion, you are probably thinking that's a good idea," Axel says, damn he's good, "but it's not. It will never be a good idea. Saix is a bad influence and will only introduce you to horrible things. Everything will seem better but when you touch back down to realty it won't be. You will only make things worse if you hang out with him."

God, who the fuck does Axel think he is? He doesn't control everything! I mean, I can do what I want, he isn't my mother, all though mine wouldn't have cared all that much. "He will make you do stupid things for him and you will listen without thinking about the consequences for even a second. Trust me, there will be consequences. There is _always_ consequences to the stupid things you will do just to gain his approval but it isn't worth it in the long run," Axel continues. I don't know why Axel thinks I am him. I am not, I can handle myself! I am not some horn-dog that wants to have crazy butt-sex with him. I would _never_ have butt-sex with him and I don't plan on having it with anyone else either.

"Are you even listening to me," Axel hisses. Ugh, he is so fucking annoying! "Yes, I was listening. You don't want me to hang out with Saix because you made some mistakes and think I will do the same thing when I won't," I practically have to stop myself from glaring at Axel.

"I wasn't as lucky as you and no one told me to stay away from him. Please, just listen to me," Axel says as we pull into Demyx's driveway. Whether I listen to Axel or not is my choice but the right now I am more concerned about Demyx being in "love" with me.

**Sorry that took so long and I have good excuse. One: my computer had been broken for a while. Two: When my computer was fixed I had writers block. Three: I just started school back up so I have been busy. Alright, I seriously had no idea where I was going with this chapter and I promise yaoi will be coming soon you just have to be patient this storyline is just so delicate.**

**Don't forget to review or tell me what you want to happen! Alright, I will try harder next time, bye! **


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello, everyone. I am sorry this chapter has taken so long to write and it probably won't be that good. Not a long ramble today just I don't own **_**Kingdom Hearts**_** and some of the books I make a reference to.**

Axel and Marluxia follow me to the door, making sure I actually go in and don't make another run for it. I slowly open the door to see Demyx and my grandma on the couch. What was she doing here? After all these years she finally came and to Demyx's house even. She couldn't have set up a meeting with me or something? It has been a few years since I have seen her but she still looks the exact same yet there is something different about her. I can place my finger on what has changed about her.

"Zexion, come here," she calls me over; her voice is just as calm as I remember. I see Axel and Marluxia exchange glance as if they are wondering what is going on. I can see Demyx watching me as if that whole kiss thing never happened, like he wanted to forget about it. Forget about me…

As soon as I get right in front of her she automatically stands up and pulls me into her arms like I was a small child. Where did all this love come from? I haven't seen this woman for several years and then she comes out of the blue. All I know is that she is my grandma and that's all. I don't know her real name. I don't know her background story. I don't even know what she is doing here. "Zexion, I am so sorry," She whispers as if that she wishes she could say more.

This hug is a bit awkward because it is mostly her hugging me and Demyx, Axel, and Marluxia watching our every move. I pull out of the hug, I don't like being touched. Nothing good comes from being touched even in this way. "Zexion… I am sorry I wasn't there for you… I knew that your parents were beating you and still… I didn't stop it," her voice was the shakiest I have ever heard it.

"It is whatever," That is all I can think of saying. I don't know what to say. She just showed up after several years. What would you say to somebody in this situation? "No, it wasn't… I could have stopped it… I should have stopped it… I am so sorry," She sounded like she was about to cry and her eyes were red. I hope she doesn't cry. I don't want her to cry. I don't want anyone to cry any more.

"It isn't your fault. It really isn't a big deal," I say, in hopes of calming her. Demyx is still watching but Axel and Marluxia have seemed to have left the room. I don't want him to watch. I don't want Demyx to know about anyone in my family. I don't want anyone to know. I liked it better when no one even knew my name. I almost wish Demyx didn't take me away from my parents but I would have died but isn't that what I wanted? Isn't that what everyone wanted?

"Zexion, please don't pretend like this never happened… I am sorry, Zexion… I love you... I could see what they were doing to you but I didn't stop it. The most I did was not let them beat you at my house. They called it punishments but you never did anything wrong. You don't deserve they past you had. They were terrible people and you shouldn't have had to gone through that. I wish I would have done something while I could have… I am glad you found Demyx to protect you and get you out of there. I am so happy you are out of there. I just want you to be happy and please don't let yourself believe you are worthless or whatever your terrible parents lead you to believe," Her voice was strong but kind.

"It was really fine, there is nothing to worry about. I am fine, I always was. I got punished for being a failure and ruining their lives. It was simple as that. It wasn't your fault. There was nothing you really could do and there was nothing I wanted to be done. I loved coming over to your house as a child but I always got it worse when I came home but none of that matters now. I would rather forget," I say, trying not to sound rude.

"You can't just forget," She says, her eyes piercing into my very soul. I don't know what to say. Why couldn't she just let me believe what I wanted? I bet I could have but she just crushed that little hope that I had developed. I think… I am confused…?

"I am sorry, I shouldn't have said that to you," She spoke, pushing the hair out of my eye only to wince when she finally took into notice my mouth, "I didn't only come here to say what I have to you. I came here to tell you something…. Zexion, I am dying."

"Wh-What," I say in disbelief. Why did she have to tell me this? She could have left out this piece of information. Why can't I ignorant about these types of things? I don't want to know! I never wanted to know anything! I wish I could be simple minded…

"Zexion, I wasn't planning on telling you this but I think you need to know."

"Why?"

"….."

"Why couldn't you just let me be in the dark about when you are going to die? I don't want to know about it."

"I am sorry, I just felt like you needed to know," She says before grabbing her purse and begins walking to the door. I can't think of anything to say to her. Nothing at all… "Good bye, Zexion and I am truly sorry," and with that she leaves. Just like that she is out of my life and won't come back. Never again.

I feel two arms wrap around me only holding understanding and care. I turn to the body and hide my face in their chest in the person chest and the sweet smell of the ocean fills my noise. It is Demyx and I shouldn't be looking for comfort from him or anyone else. His touch is as soft as a bluebell and his voice is as smooth as silk, as he kisses the top of my head and says, "Zexion, I am always here for you no matter what."

**This was such a freaking short chapter and I am really sorry but I am busy with school work and what not.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey! So, I had some free time so I thought I would work on my story! Hope you guys like it so far! Anyway, I don't own **_**Kingdom Hearts**_**! But, I do own this storyline which I do plan to use if I ever want to write a book (I will just change the characters names!).**

I couldn't even speak as I took in Demyx's sweet scent. He was perfect and he knew it but he still tried to comfort me. He didn't turn away from me or yell; he just stayed tried to help. I know this yet I am afraid to accept his help. I don't want this all to be fake, I should know better than to let Demyx hold me. This could all just be a dream and when I wake up I will be back with my father and mother. They will be mad that I have been out for so long. I am sure when I awaken I will have to get back to work.

"Zexion… This isn't a dream. You should talk to me instead of keeping it all inside." Demyx says as if he can read my thoughts.

"I'm… I'm sorry," I say, I don't know what I am apologizing for but I am sure it will help. It always helped before, more or less.

"There is nothing to be sorry for," Demyx says, tightening the hug. He was so kind, he put up with me and didn't seem to want anything in return. He never seemed to want to hurt me, only wanted to hold me but I knew I would ruin him. I am not good enough for Demyx, why couldn't he accept this? I learned how to but he still tried to help me. I don't even want help; I am not some animal that couldn't handle its emotions. I know what I am and what I deserve but still Demyx thought I deserved better. Why couldn't he see that he was wrong?

Demyx slowly unraveled his arms around me but I still stay where I was. I don't feel like I can make my legs move, I don't feel like I can even say another word. Demyx gently took me to my room somehow my legs seemed to work, going down the hall and up the stairs. He took me to my bed and sat me down as I went over the day's events.

**X_x_X_x_X_x_X_x**

Demyx left me alone in my room and after a few hours without him I realize how lonely I am. How bad it hurts, before I thought I was numb but apparently I can still feel pain. I can't stand it; I liked it better when I couldn't feel anything.

I reach under my bed and pull out my knife and not even bother with cutting my thighs, I go to my arms. I removed my sleeves and begin to sink my knife into my arm but it doesn't seem to want to cut. It won't cure me from this pain, it wants me to suffer. Not even my only friend wants me to be in a good place. It wants me to die even more inside. I have to press hard, fighting back tears. I don't want to do this. Why can't I stop myself though? I thought I could at least control this but I was wrong. I can't even stop myself from cutting.

Even after I cut I don't feel any better. In fact, I feel worse for once. My arms hurt and so does my heart. Why do I have to be such a freak? Why can't I feel any better? Why am I crying? Most of all, why does it hurt so much this time?

Before I could cut and it felt better but now I am only feeling worse. Am I doomed to suffer? I have to hold my sides as I try to make myself stop these damn tears. My breathing is unsteady and I can't even see anything past theses tears. They are making my eyes sting, I can't seem to make them stop. I am such a fucking pussy. Why? I use to have it all figured out and now there is doubt.

My blood is dripping to the side a bit and I am lying on my side. I just watch it slide to the side of my arms and my tears are stopping. My eyes sting even worse when the tears stop and my pillow is a bit wet. Why did I have to cry so much?

My door slowly opens and out comes Demyx. I knew it would be him. He is the only one that forgets to knock on the door. "Hey, it's time for dinner," Demyx says, gently and comes closer to me. I don't move, not because I am trying to be difficult but because I can't. I feel like something is forcing me down and won't let me get up.

Demyx is next to me now and looking at my arm, he doesn't look happy like he usually does but sad. "What happened," He asks, studying every single cut. As hard as I try I can't talk, god I probably look so desperate right now. "I told you if you needed to talk we could. This was what I didn't want you to do," Demyx says, helping me sit up but I won't look at him. I am too ashamed of myself to look at him and I don't want to look at myself either.

"Zexion, please talk to me. I don't want you to keep hurting yourself. I promise if you talk you will feel better, most people usually do," Demyx pressed, I could tell he wanted me to talk. I wanted to say something but I couldn't, it was like I lost my voice. I try to say something but my mouth won't work. I want to tell Demyx everything but I don't know what is wrong. Demyx sighs and carefully pulls me into his arms as we sit together on my bed for a few minutes in silence. "You don't have to tell me now but at least don't hurt yourself," He said, lightly.

I want to thank Demyx for everything he has done for me but I can't. All I can do is sit here and listen to him try to make me feel better. Why can't I talk? What is wrong with me? This can't be normal. "C'mon, it is time to eat," Demyx says, moving away from me but I don't want him to move. I want him to stay with me like we were, forever.

"C'mon, aren't you hungry," Demyx asks and looks at me with those soft eyes of his. I somehow manage to move and go into the dining room. There is really no point though, I don't want to eat.

The whole room is silent as me and Demyx come in together. Everyone is staring at me and I can't help but feel worse about myself than I have in a while. Is this what my life is about? Just to feel bad about myself and have to deal with everyone else judgment, I don't want this anymore. I want to be happy, if that is even possible.

**It was short but I think it was better than most of my chapters considering everything. This was my birthday present to myself. See ya'. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Alright let's see how long I can make this chapter, shall we? So, I do not own the oh-so-wonder **_**Kingdom Hearts**_**! Now, let us get on with this! 3 **

"What is wrong with emo," Larxene snarled in her voice that makes me want to scratch my ears out, earning a smirk from Vexen. God I hate them so much. Anyway, everyone has already begun eating but stopped just to look at me and Demyx. I don't know if I like this or not but it wouldn't matter whether I did. They already did and they will continue to stare not matter what, I mean, when I sit down they will probably go back to what they were doing but not until then. The only convenience in this is that I am wearing long sleeves that can easily pull down. Sure, they scratch at my cuts and my eyes still sting but still, neither compare to the pain of all their eyes staring.

Marluxia and Axel seem to being the thumbs up to Demyx but they don't understand. Demyx and I aren't getting together, I know it is too late now and I don't want to even think about it. I mean, even if it wasn't too late I would spare Demyx from all my stupid problems. I know right now he thinks he loves me but it is not love. He will find someone better than me in a matter of days. It won't take long at all; in fact he looks around the room he can find someone. That is all it will take, just a few seconds or should I say few people.

"Shut up, Larxene," Marluxia says, obviously as tired as I am from her shit. Demyx slowly lead me over to the seat that is open, that so happened to be placed next to his. I bet Axel set this up with the help of Roxas or Marluxia, not that he would any need help setting up such a simple plan.

I don't even know why I don't just let Demyx do what he wants and then toss me aside. I mean, I have been treated like that all my life, what difference would it make if Demyx did it? I don't know anything anymore and uncertainty is the easiest way to get lost and take the path of destruction. My life has caused nothing **but** destruction and I don't want that anymore. I want to bring joy for once, if that is even possible…

I wish I could go back and make sure I never existed so I wouldn't have screw peoples life's up so much. I could just kill myself and maybe that would make up for all my mistakes but I had promised Demyx and promises mean a lot to me. Nobody now-a-day keep promises and no one has ever kept a promise to me, plus this seemed to mean so much to Demyx and I don't want to be more of a disappointment even after death. But would it make a difference? I was never popular before why would it matter if I died.

I took my place next to Demyx and stared blankly at the plate, not placing a single piece of food on it. I don't want to eat and I don't think I could. I feel like my throat is too sore from all the swallowing I have done to fight back tears. It hurts but at the same time I like it, I am sure to have deserved it.

"Zexion," Demyx says quietly, drawing everyone's attention once again, "why aren't you eating?"

What could I tell him? I couldn't very well say I was starving myself because then he would want a reason. Surely if I told him I thought I needed to lose weight he would tell me I was not fat and then want me to talk, when I don't want to talk. I don't want to have to say anything, I just wish everyone would understand how I was feeling but they don't. And there was nothing I could do about it.

After a brief few seconds of thought I finally say, "I'm not hungry." It was simple and he couldn't really say anything.

"You should still try to eat something. You don't want to get sick do you," Demyx questions.

"I don't give a fuck," is all I could say.

"Z-Zexion, please don't say that," Demyx pleads.

"Say what?"

"Please, don't say you 'don't give a fuck' as you so delicately put it."

"But I don't."

"Yes you do. You just don't know it yet."

"No. I don't. I don't give a fuck."

"Zexion, please it isn't that hard. Just try."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can."

"No. I can't."

"Of course you can! Anyone can care."

"Well, I can't."

"That's because your mind isn't put in the right spot for it. Now, you should eat something."

"I'm not hungry."

"Oh yes, you are."

"No, you're wrong."

Everyone has gone back to eating while Demyx and I go back and forth. Why can't he see I'm not hungry, err, I don't want to eat.

"I am right," Demyx says.

"Why won't you just drop it," I question, a bit agitated.

"Because, I care about you, Zexion," Demyx says, so matter-of-factly.

"No. You just feel bad for me. That's all," I say, not even caring.

"H-How could you say that, Zexion? I do care about you. At first I may felt bad for you but now it is different. All I want to do is _help_ you. Why can't you understand that? When somebody does something for you it isn't always out of pity, sometimes it is out of _care_ for a person," Demyx says.

"Nobody has done anything for me but brought me down to reality to what I really am."

"And what would that be, Zexion?"

"Worthless."

"You are not worthless and they are wrong. Your life has been hard but that doesn't mean anything. I take people in so they can have another chance. Take this chance, Zexion, please."

Everyone was getting up and putting their plates up, not saying a word. They were listening and I knew it and I hated it. It wasn't their business or was it? No, they just wanted to know to talk about it later. I know that is exactly what they are going to do. It will get around to even those people at the time that weren't listening. When did I become something that needed to be watch? When did I become so helpless? When did I become such a burden?

Who am I kidding? I have always been a burden and helpless, I just didn't want to believe it but most of all I never wanted to be watched. I wanted to be left alone and now look at me; I am constantly being watched without a moments break. It is utter nonsense.

I want to think that I have at least made one person happy but that's impossible. What is happiness anyway? Is it some made up thing to make us believe that there is something else besides despair? It can't be real and if it is I obviously have never experienced it before. But how could I? I wasn't worth it nor did I have something to be "happy" about. I suppose if I do experience it I will like it but then I will never want to face what life really is: nothing.

Life is nothing because we will die and will be forgotten. There are those few that will be remembered but their mistakes will be remembered also. Everyone makes mistakes but some people do it more than others and some peoples lives are just a mistake. I suppose that a few people are here for a reason but it seems with time there is nothing left to do so everyone's life has become worthless.

Everyone sits in the leisure of their homes surrounded by technology not really enjoying what is really right in front of them. People now-a-days only see what they don't have instead of what they do. It seems like only the people with nothing enjoy it all but even then when they see all they were missing it seems to change their outlook on the world.

"Zexion," Demyx says, breaking me out of my thoughts, "you might as well leave now."

Everyone has left but Demyx. It was just me and him and it seems that the table has been cleared without my knowing. How could I have spaced out that bad? I didn't even think that much but it seems like time slows down in my head.

I stand up and make the mistake of looking into Demyx's eyes. They are sad but his face seems so full of life.

"W-What's the matter, Demyx," I ask, not wanting to see Demyx sad. It was so sad, it crushed actually made me feel like I had no reason to feel the way I do. His mullet seemed to be a bit down and his eyes were cloudy, like a beach before it rains and the clouds are just getting ready. Instead of smelling like the beach on a sunny day, he smelt like rain on a boring day. I didn't know it was possible for someone's mood to change everything about them. I almost wanted to do anything to make him happy again.

"Why won't you let me help you, Zexion," Demyx asks in a small voice.

God, I hate myself for this but I am going to say it anyway, "If it makes you happy… You can do what you want." I can't believe I just gave him permission to do that.

**I was going to make this way longer but my heart feels like it has been ripped out my chest. I hope you enjoy this and I hope it was long enough for everyone.**


	12. Chapter 12

**I went back and reread what I had written and I am so sorry. Anyway, I don't own **_**Kingdom Hearts**_** but I do own my imagination (I sound like some weirdo). So let us begin! Oh, also the song for this is **_**Everything's Just Wonderful **_**by Lily Allen. **

Agreeing to let Demyx do whatever he likes was a big mistake. He wants to redo my room, _try_ to style my hair, and even get me to talk about my "feelings". I kind of think this is silly I have no problem and he should just accept it. I am fine and I don't have any feelings so it doesn't matter. Demyx insists on sleeping with me tonight which I don't understand what that has to do with anything but it is still going down.

Demyx is so kind though and I do kind of like that about him. It is refreshing and sweet but is it possible this is all fake? Am I just a fool and this is all just in my mind? I almost want to hope it isn't. I kind of want this to be real… But what is hope anyway? You need feelings to hope so what exactly is happening? Maybe-

"Zexion!" Demyx says snapping me out of my thoughts, we are up in my room now. A bit reluctant I look up at Demyx but I don't say a word. "I have a wonderful idea for you room." Demyx says and I know he wants me to ask him what it is and agree with it.

"What is it?" I ask, but my voice was barely audible even to myself.

"Instead of your room being mostly black we could make it white!" Demyx suggests with so much enthusiasm it kind of crushed my heart to tell him no so I simply nodded. I was always good at that anyway: just agreeing with people. But I suppose Demyx knew I was faking it because he looked straight into my eyes and very softly asked, "Are you sure that is what _you_ want? I won't be made if you don't like my idea."

I just nod again because I still feel like this is what Demyx wants and I should let him have his fun. Life is about that anyway isn't it? Just making sure everyone else is happy before you are? It would make sense.

"Liar." Demyx says.

"No, I am not." I state, moving my eyes back to the ground.

"Yes you are. If you don't want to change it we don't have to." He says, moving a piece of hair away from my eye but it just moves back to its original place.

"…."

"Zexion, talk to me?"

"About what?"

"Well, for now what you want?"

"What I want?"

"Yes, I only care about what you want."

"Y-You do?" I stutter a bit in disbelief. Demyx is far too kind.

"Of course I do. Now tell Dem-Dem what you want," He cooed to me. That is a good question what did I want? Maybe it would be simpler if I told him what I didn't want. Well, I don't know what I don't want either. Maybe I should talk off impulse I have never tried that before.

"I want you to slap me," I say. Where the fuck did that come from?

"What?" Demyx gave me a strange look.

"I want you to bite me," I speak out of impulse again. Maybe this impulse thing isn't working for me.

"I'm not going to do that!" Demyx protests and his voice cracks a bit.

"Then let's have sex." I blurt out and as soon as that is out of my mouth I cover my mouth.

"Zexion!" Demyx says, grinning ear from ear.

"W-Wait! I-I didn't mean t-to say that!" I stutter, trying so hard to keep my calm but me waving my hands in front of me doesn't seem to help.

"If I was an enzyme, I'd be helicase so I could unzip your genes."

I slap my forehead at Demyx's stupid pick up line. "That bad, huh?" Demyx asks with a goofy grin.

"Yeah, it was pretty bad." I say, trying to stay serious for once I can feel myself trying to hold back a laugh. I think it is obvious though because Demyx is moving closer to me and whispers to me, "Can I see what's under your radical?"

I have to hold onto my sides so I don't even make a sound. I am trying so hard to fight back this smile I don't know what is happening to me. Why can't I stay serious?

"Baby I'll treat you like my homework — I'll slam you on the table and do you all night long," Demyx says finally causing me to laugh. It hurt so badly but I couldn't stop it. Laughter felt so weird! I don't think I can recall myself laughing no matter how hard I try. Demyx was laughing along with me as he spat out another one of his stupid pick up lines, "If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me: smooth or rough?"

This one is really pushing it and I have to lean on Demyx so I don't fall onto the floor laughing. Although that was a bad idea because Demyx fell to the floor laughing, causing me to go along with him with a thud.

"Life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless," Demyx says, as he tries to catch his breath.

Marluxia and Axel bust through the door as Demyx tries another one, "I wish I were your second derivative so I could fill your concavities."

I am trying so hard to be serious especially when what Demyx is saying isn't that funny but I can't stop.

"What did you do to Demyx?He actually sounds like he has a brain in his head." Axel yells looking stunned.

"Hey!" Demyx yells in defense and his laughter begins to die down. While Axel and Demyx bicker back and forth Marluxia comes over to me and gives me the thumbs up. "You got a nice laugh there, short stacks," Marluxia states with a smirk.

I am not laughing anymore but for some reason I feel like everything is lighter. It is brighter in this room then before even the black looks brighter than before.

"Did Demyx finally break you?" Marluxia asked.

"No," I say a little unsure of myself. What exactly did he mean by break?

"Well, he will. He always does." Marluxia says with a wink as Axel and Demyx start to throw their shoes at each other.

"STOP IT, YOU JERK-FACE-MC-GEE!" Demyx whines throwing his left shoe at Axel.

Axel laughed and hit the shoe back with his hand. Demyx dodges it and it flies right past Marluxia.

"Both of you knock it off," Marluxia says, raising his voice. Axel throws one more shoe before Roxas comes in.

"Axel I'm bored," The little blonde whines.

"What do you want me to do about it?" Axel asks, sounding soft and cuddly (**I don't even know)**.

"Take me somewhere," Roxas says.

Axel sighs a bit and says, "Okay."

Roxas smiles and leaves the room, looking victorious. Demyx and Marluxia make whipping noise at Axel and I can't help but laugh a bit at Axel.

"Shut up," Axel says, reluctantly leaving the room.

"That boy has got Axel so whipped," Marluxia says, rolling his eyes and I think I catch a bit of jealousy in them.

"Well, what are you going to do? They are in love." Demyx says in a sing-song voice, wrapping an arm around Marluxia.

"Do you love him, Marluxia?" I ask timidly.

"What? No!" Marluxia says making "ch" and "pft" noises and laughing nervously before leaving the room.

"I wonder why he left. He usually would stick around a bit." Demyx asks.

"Marluxia loves Axel." I state.

"No way! How can you tell?"

"It is obvious after that display that Marluxia put on."

"Nah, that doesn't mean anything. Marly is just weird that's all."

I sigh slightly, knowing I am right but Marluxia wouldn't admit it especially not in front of Demyx.

**Okay, so I wrote this because I am stuck inside because of the snow. I will reach you guys yaoi in due time just wait for it. I hope you guys enjoy this because I kind of did. Peace out! **


	13. Update For Readers

**Okay, so I know you guys want me to finish this and I really was never planning on doing it, because I thought it was stupid, but I decided if you guys can wait for me to edit it to my liking I will publish it on my DeviantART page. I will restart this whole story on there, it will be the same basic story, only with better grammar. My username is SquallsCorner, so if you look that up you'll see I already have some short stories up. I will finish this, because, well, I don't know. Anyway, if you give me the time to update all this to my liking you can get old and new chapters once I catch up.**

**Also, if you have a DeviantART account and want to read this, please watch me, so I know how many people actually want to read it before I go through all that effort. Once again, my username is: SquallsCorner.**


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